Met a man tonite who used to work at glendon. His life isnt any better.
I'm not sure what I should say now. I could let my heart all out on the line but that would leave me defenceless. And I love my gated-heart-community. Sometimes I feel as if I've let too much out, then I remember there's so much more that I keep locked away. I often think of myself as an open person but really im much more secretive. i love my secrets, i live ijn my secrets, i feed on my secrets.
i miss CW. one of the few men who could get any secret out of me if he wanted, only because he is one of the secrets. i miss SC. one of the few people i could completely let go with and not worry what he'd think of me. i miss BL. the only person who knew me inside and out. im afraid ill never get that again with anyone, woman or man.
i wish i remembeered what life was like before sex. the sweet innocence i felt before man. the past taht i dealt with solely without all the troubl;es love ensued.
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Saturday, August 22, 2009
Thursday, August 6, 2009
they fell from heaven and carried me away
I don't have much to say. Honestly. But I have the urge to write, and since nothing that I write will be useful or productive, i have found myself here.
I've been listening to the playlist I made for my best friend. She's having trouble getting over an awful boy. Yes, I said boy and not man for a reason. A maturity reason. I titled the playlist: "Music+Science=Sexy: A 27-step, guaranteed, get over him, playlist" It's not helping her the way I thought it would.
Now I am listening to it on a loop. Beginning to end. Straight through with no shuffle. And it's not helping the way I thought it would.
I miss being desired, I miss being loved, and I didn't realize how much I missed it until now.
My body and mind are caught in a conflict right now: am i searching for some kind of meaning ful relationship, or do I just really want to get laid? My jhope is that both thoughts can coincide happily.... but things like that are never so simple in my world. Both items are a dragged out process which usually leaves me battered and bruised in the end,. it doesn't stop me from wanting them though. im a little bit of a masochist if you didnt realize. an emotional masochist but still a masochist. am i even spelling that right? who give a fuck im, drunk and i will spellhorribly if i want! I just hope the grammar nazi never sees this. i dopnt want to have to satrt writing secret anne frank-esque blogs.
i was talking to a friend tonight that i am sad i don't spend more time with and he made me realize a few thing about my life. mostly that if he had never come into the picture i would not be in a good place, and i would still be clinging on to the only thing i thought i had left wihich is a faulty friendship where i have been guilted into owing my very soul to someone has abusued me in more ways that i wish were reakl. my life has been a series of far overdramatic events thus far, and im done with that. ive been done with that before i even met the wonderful people i know now.
And I don't know how i can deal with out them now. i feel pathetic saying it, but they are everything to me. and i feel compleytely and utterly alone when im not with them, or when they dont call, or when the shy away from all those social messaging sites.
So this is me. No fancy analogies. No spell check. Heart on the line. Ready and willing. Cliches a blazin.
And I can't apologize for it, because, for once in my life, I want everyone to see me as I am and love me for it.
I've been listening to the playlist I made for my best friend. She's having trouble getting over an awful boy. Yes, I said boy and not man for a reason. A maturity reason. I titled the playlist: "Music+Science=Sexy: A 27-step, guaranteed, get over him, playlist" It's not helping her the way I thought it would.
Now I am listening to it on a loop. Beginning to end. Straight through with no shuffle. And it's not helping the way I thought it would.
I miss being desired, I miss being loved, and I didn't realize how much I missed it until now.
My body and mind are caught in a conflict right now: am i searching for some kind of meaning ful relationship, or do I just really want to get laid? My jhope is that both thoughts can coincide happily.... but things like that are never so simple in my world. Both items are a dragged out process which usually leaves me battered and bruised in the end,. it doesn't stop me from wanting them though. im a little bit of a masochist if you didnt realize. an emotional masochist but still a masochist. am i even spelling that right? who give a fuck im, drunk and i will spellhorribly if i want! I just hope the grammar nazi never sees this. i dopnt want to have to satrt writing secret anne frank-esque blogs.
i was talking to a friend tonight that i am sad i don't spend more time with and he made me realize a few thing about my life. mostly that if he had never come into the picture i would not be in a good place, and i would still be clinging on to the only thing i thought i had left wihich is a faulty friendship where i have been guilted into owing my very soul to someone has abusued me in more ways that i wish were reakl. my life has been a series of far overdramatic events thus far, and im done with that. ive been done with that before i even met the wonderful people i know now.
And I don't know how i can deal with out them now. i feel pathetic saying it, but they are everything to me. and i feel compleytely and utterly alone when im not with them, or when they dont call, or when the shy away from all those social messaging sites.
So this is me. No fancy analogies. No spell check. Heart on the line. Ready and willing. Cliches a blazin.
And I can't apologize for it, because, for once in my life, I want everyone to see me as I am and love me for it.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
SUPER MARIO BROSHOESOBAMAWOES
ok ok ok
but this is what in trying to say
ok look.
ok wait
hold on
wait,,,,, wait, fucj,i.m missin my moment
wait hold on, ok i got it,,, wait
now that im tyoing it out i realise im losing it,
fuck
ok so lifel
no wait,
see if its like this we all have dreams, we all wanna be porn stars, or owners of greasy spoons, or crack dealers, or sexers, or graphic designers, or photographers, or musicians, or eggs and bacon or ham or susage, or writers, or filmmakers, or buisiness owners and that's all well and good but i think. to be fair
my dream, my dream is to influence what means most to me and that's the Nintendo Mario Bros. series.
see, i think i get it.
i think i could write the next great mario adventure. now see here old sportsbee
the first marios bros game created a world within a Mushroom Kingdom that has been overrub by, at that time, King Koopa. And you as the italain motherfuck you are you try go on a quest through every colony of the kingdom that makes up the Mushroom to save the Princess that king motherfuck koopa has take hostage for fucking coins and shit. so not only do you go through every corner of every kingdom in search of her and that ass koopa but you also nab every coin you come across so that when yuo finally meet that fucker kooopa you'll trade in those coins for your love. only thing is you've been using those coins for green mushrooms every step of the way. cause fuck it. all you goonna do is take out koopa and take back the princess. cause you're a one team swat team that goes by the name mario.
so we have that. the first marios bros. your bro luigi is back up. and he's mad dope. i love luigi.e
so first mario bros done, you fuck up king koopa and all his minions take all the money you can and bring the princess back to give her the once over in her gian castle.
now mario bros. 2.
see this is a fucking wriote off because at the end you realise it's all a dream. great ending for such an early game in gaming fucktits.
but still you end the game to find out it's all a dream. so really, you just siotting at home as mario dreaming abiout the hayday when the princess would layt you because you saved her that one time when you were bad ass but koopa being all incracerated and shit, means peach has been doing her own thing.
then it's mario 3 time.
see here it's some true real shit.
mario has never been more on his A game then now. Once again he's called in for a purpose to fuck up all assholes taking control of the mushroom kindom in search of the princess and taking every fucking coin you can find. and keeping that shit.
only things have changed. here, to try and stop Koopa from future hostage situations it seems the princeess has divided up here kingdom into smaller kindoms. giving new lords and kings their own owner ship over those lands. so if koopa comes back he'll only terrorize the now recognizeable "mushroom kingdom:". that is now just one colony. But the thing is, in Martio 3 this here Koopa didn't get the messege so he goes on fucking over ever new "king" or "lord" he comes across. Turning them into different defensless animales. so you go on your changind them back as mario. and in retun they give you letters from that sweet piece of ass. When the day is done, you end up fucking koopa over, taking all the money, restoring peace to the colonies, and bringing that sweet piece of ass back home... your bed. so you can stop the bad dreams that was mario 2.
Then you have Super Mario World for the snes.
Here what i feel has happened is that you have banished Koopa to a new world across the stars. A dinasaur planet where he can be more at home. Here he gains power once again, gaining influence over the dumber dinos and renaming himself something more tribal and true to his nature; Bowser.
so now you got Bowser, all pissed, rallying the troops on this dinosaur planet to revolt. What they do is steal the Princess away from her world and hold her hostage again. So you Mario comes out guns a' blazing and says fuck ya'll fucking dinos, she's my bitch i've had enough. so you take out every dino moefuck in ur way until you reach the princess.
see. there's some dinos on that planet that wanna keep the peace. the race of yoshis are like the hippies of the dinosaur world. They want no part in the revolt. and thru them you stage a one man resistence that takes the world over, one continent at a time until you reveal bowser, hiding in his liar and fuck him over. you took all his coin, you take the princess back. you run the shit. you're mario, you're the last resort, and you FUCKING GET RESULTS.
ok so what happens next?
now on snes a bunch of different shit but i'll stick with the classics.
mario rpg sees just the mushroom kingdom thrown in upheal due to some otherworldly mother fucks trying to embraoh on citizens dreams and and wishes. they take al the wish stars out the sky, and take all the power away from good vs. evil so the whole kingdom has run amock. How else are you goonna see mario fighting along side a cloud, bowesr and the princes??
serious, shit goes off. And it shows that bowser is as addicted to the fight as mario is. And the princess loves to be fought over. but they all come together to fight that. it's beauty. pure form. i love it.
64.... mario 64.
this is crazy because it's not about the knigdom at large. Bowser as gone straight to the source with some vodoo magic nad has taken the prince into the paintings inside her castle, you as mario jump into theses paintings... which all represent snapshots of the greater mushroom kingdom, to fight against this magic. beautiful shit. but it's not the kingdom. its mario fighting in paintings getting to bowser, thrwoing his tail around into a big circle and thrwoing him until he says uncle.. great shit, of course. but not primp yet... i feel
so we go gamecube,
and mario has decided to take a vacay after improsining bowser, again. but in this lovely island getaway on the mushroom kingdom boswers son, who you thought was ok becase you were gokarting wiht im fucking months before, graffitis everything and takes the princess again, hostage now for bowser release. you know what?????? fuck that noize! mario is too pissed an not only will he take all bowser jr.s coins but he will also clean up all that shity mess you call art and then take oyu out. and fucking enjoy his vacay. great.
ok ok i'm mising someshit.
but basiciallly last we have mario galaxy
ok bowser has broken out. he has taken the princesss and was like fuck it. "i can't keep her here in the mushroom kingdom and i can't take her to dinosaur world, so i'ma take her to space acroos the univese, fuck that noize"
and he rocks that shit. he's hardcore. to save the princess i had to send that fucker bowser into the sun and he still came back for a second round! crazy ass. but i secured the princess... i secured the galaxty... the universe... so what next?
what can mario do now?
well i feel that the next mario game can really flesh out the mushroom kingdom.. what the the princess peach controls and what she doesn't... and how that effects Mario party, mario go kart, and mario tennis... oh and gold... and baseball... and soccer.
where the fuck does it all relate?
let's go back to the Kingdom and make shit happpen. C'mon bowser let's fuck shit up
so here's what i think for a good next mario game
1) go old school and have bower run amock in the mushroom kingdom but do it with triple the hear this time
2) have some outer being fuck shit up so that mario and bowser are forced to team up again
3) go fucking meta on us and have bowser follow mario back to new york thru the pipes where he's just a lonely fat plumber and have him run amock our world and have mario save it. the end hsould have obama giving a speach about mario and how we should all emulate him. YES WE CAN he will say, YES WE CAN be like mario and look out for our fellow brother, wether it be Luigi, or Joe Nobody, or bum on the corner. yes we can help protect and maintain a better world that isn't run amock by a horny dinosaur named Bowser... and make sure you keep all your fucking coins...
ok ok ok..
i got.. it.
that was it...
ok?
but this is what in trying to say
ok look.
ok wait
hold on
wait,,,,, wait, fucj,i.m missin my moment
wait hold on, ok i got it,,, wait
now that im tyoing it out i realise im losing it,
fuck
ok so lifel
no wait,
see if its like this we all have dreams, we all wanna be porn stars, or owners of greasy spoons, or crack dealers, or sexers, or graphic designers, or photographers, or musicians, or eggs and bacon or ham or susage, or writers, or filmmakers, or buisiness owners and that's all well and good but i think. to be fair
my dream, my dream is to influence what means most to me and that's the Nintendo Mario Bros. series.
see, i think i get it.
i think i could write the next great mario adventure. now see here old sportsbee
the first marios bros game created a world within a Mushroom Kingdom that has been overrub by, at that time, King Koopa. And you as the italain motherfuck you are you try go on a quest through every colony of the kingdom that makes up the Mushroom to save the Princess that king motherfuck koopa has take hostage for fucking coins and shit. so not only do you go through every corner of every kingdom in search of her and that ass koopa but you also nab every coin you come across so that when yuo finally meet that fucker kooopa you'll trade in those coins for your love. only thing is you've been using those coins for green mushrooms every step of the way. cause fuck it. all you goonna do is take out koopa and take back the princess. cause you're a one team swat team that goes by the name mario.
so we have that. the first marios bros. your bro luigi is back up. and he's mad dope. i love luigi.e
so first mario bros done, you fuck up king koopa and all his minions take all the money you can and bring the princess back to give her the once over in her gian castle.
now mario bros. 2.
see this is a fucking wriote off because at the end you realise it's all a dream. great ending for such an early game in gaming fucktits.
but still you end the game to find out it's all a dream. so really, you just siotting at home as mario dreaming abiout the hayday when the princess would layt you because you saved her that one time when you were bad ass but koopa being all incracerated and shit, means peach has been doing her own thing.
then it's mario 3 time.
see here it's some true real shit.
mario has never been more on his A game then now. Once again he's called in for a purpose to fuck up all assholes taking control of the mushroom kindom in search of the princess and taking every fucking coin you can find. and keeping that shit.
only things have changed. here, to try and stop Koopa from future hostage situations it seems the princeess has divided up here kingdom into smaller kindoms. giving new lords and kings their own owner ship over those lands. so if koopa comes back he'll only terrorize the now recognizeable "mushroom kingdom:". that is now just one colony. But the thing is, in Martio 3 this here Koopa didn't get the messege so he goes on fucking over ever new "king" or "lord" he comes across. Turning them into different defensless animales. so you go on your changind them back as mario. and in retun they give you letters from that sweet piece of ass. When the day is done, you end up fucking koopa over, taking all the money, restoring peace to the colonies, and bringing that sweet piece of ass back home... your bed. so you can stop the bad dreams that was mario 2.
Then you have Super Mario World for the snes.
Here what i feel has happened is that you have banished Koopa to a new world across the stars. A dinasaur planet where he can be more at home. Here he gains power once again, gaining influence over the dumber dinos and renaming himself something more tribal and true to his nature; Bowser.
so now you got Bowser, all pissed, rallying the troops on this dinosaur planet to revolt. What they do is steal the Princess away from her world and hold her hostage again. So you Mario comes out guns a' blazing and says fuck ya'll fucking dinos, she's my bitch i've had enough. so you take out every dino moefuck in ur way until you reach the princess.
see. there's some dinos on that planet that wanna keep the peace. the race of yoshis are like the hippies of the dinosaur world. They want no part in the revolt. and thru them you stage a one man resistence that takes the world over, one continent at a time until you reveal bowser, hiding in his liar and fuck him over. you took all his coin, you take the princess back. you run the shit. you're mario, you're the last resort, and you FUCKING GET RESULTS.
ok so what happens next?
now on snes a bunch of different shit but i'll stick with the classics.
mario rpg sees just the mushroom kingdom thrown in upheal due to some otherworldly mother fucks trying to embraoh on citizens dreams and and wishes. they take al the wish stars out the sky, and take all the power away from good vs. evil so the whole kingdom has run amock. How else are you goonna see mario fighting along side a cloud, bowesr and the princes??
serious, shit goes off. And it shows that bowser is as addicted to the fight as mario is. And the princess loves to be fought over. but they all come together to fight that. it's beauty. pure form. i love it.
64.... mario 64.
this is crazy because it's not about the knigdom at large. Bowser as gone straight to the source with some vodoo magic nad has taken the prince into the paintings inside her castle, you as mario jump into theses paintings... which all represent snapshots of the greater mushroom kingdom, to fight against this magic. beautiful shit. but it's not the kingdom. its mario fighting in paintings getting to bowser, thrwoing his tail around into a big circle and thrwoing him until he says uncle.. great shit, of course. but not primp yet... i feel
so we go gamecube,
and mario has decided to take a vacay after improsining bowser, again. but in this lovely island getaway on the mushroom kingdom boswers son, who you thought was ok becase you were gokarting wiht im fucking months before, graffitis everything and takes the princess again, hostage now for bowser release. you know what?????? fuck that noize! mario is too pissed an not only will he take all bowser jr.s coins but he will also clean up all that shity mess you call art and then take oyu out. and fucking enjoy his vacay. great.
ok ok i'm mising someshit.
but basiciallly last we have mario galaxy
ok bowser has broken out. he has taken the princesss and was like fuck it. "i can't keep her here in the mushroom kingdom and i can't take her to dinosaur world, so i'ma take her to space acroos the univese, fuck that noize"
and he rocks that shit. he's hardcore. to save the princess i had to send that fucker bowser into the sun and he still came back for a second round! crazy ass. but i secured the princess... i secured the galaxty... the universe... so what next?
what can mario do now?
well i feel that the next mario game can really flesh out the mushroom kingdom.. what the the princess peach controls and what she doesn't... and how that effects Mario party, mario go kart, and mario tennis... oh and gold... and baseball... and soccer.
where the fuck does it all relate?
let's go back to the Kingdom and make shit happpen. C'mon bowser let's fuck shit up
so here's what i think for a good next mario game
1) go old school and have bower run amock in the mushroom kingdom but do it with triple the hear this time
2) have some outer being fuck shit up so that mario and bowser are forced to team up again
3) go fucking meta on us and have bowser follow mario back to new york thru the pipes where he's just a lonely fat plumber and have him run amock our world and have mario save it. the end hsould have obama giving a speach about mario and how we should all emulate him. YES WE CAN he will say, YES WE CAN be like mario and look out for our fellow brother, wether it be Luigi, or Joe Nobody, or bum on the corner. yes we can help protect and maintain a better world that isn't run amock by a horny dinosaur named Bowser... and make sure you keep all your fucking coins...
ok ok ok..
i got.. it.
that was it...
ok?
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