i cough aloud.
bittersweet... i like that idea.
something that is bittersweet.
sweet yet bitter. hmm what else can one do to an idea such as this?
it's a hotcold... that doesn't work.
a spicymild.. no.
a fastslow... no.
a rightwrong... not quite.
a GreekColombian.... i'll let that pass.
anyways, bittersweet. i'll take it.
i don't really know what to say but school is for dummies.
and dummies are for lemonade.
pick your side
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
what times? now times? never times? what.. try it out
ok ok,
top 5 best times!
5: that time we went to the park and then hahaha and then that guy ian like lighted all that shit on fire. and then the cops came and i gave them some crazy wrong name and the girl i was with followed suit and we walked away to some bushes and watched the fire that the police desperatly wanted to put it out. it wasn't a big fire. but they had to call in the fireguys to take care of it. it was kinda sad. but we waited and watched till dawn.
4: that one time when i ran into the lake naked... no wait... that sucked.
3: that time in junior year when we skipped class to make a movie instead but then we soon realised that the best place to film everything was in fact at school. so we went back and made a movie. it was a funny movie.
2: when it was raining and then you know like all that stuff happened. cause it rained so we just like did all this weird stuff indoors. what the fuck!
1: right now, this is a good time. this makes me happy.. fuckatit
...
should this kind of horrid shit be allowed on the internet? i dunna, who cares. it's become our own personal place to dump our shit. if there's millons of pages dedicated to beastiality then why can't one page be reserved for the want and urge of a drunkie to splurge a bit all over the face of the net? jsut one page... anyways.
we're always loooking for more members so email us up. and shit.
one rule you gotta post tho.
fooools.
ok so quick poem:
eat some bum
top 5 best times!
5: that time we went to the park and then hahaha and then that guy ian like lighted all that shit on fire. and then the cops came and i gave them some crazy wrong name and the girl i was with followed suit and we walked away to some bushes and watched the fire that the police desperatly wanted to put it out. it wasn't a big fire. but they had to call in the fireguys to take care of it. it was kinda sad. but we waited and watched till dawn.
4: that one time when i ran into the lake naked... no wait... that sucked.
3: that time in junior year when we skipped class to make a movie instead but then we soon realised that the best place to film everything was in fact at school. so we went back and made a movie. it was a funny movie.
2: when it was raining and then you know like all that stuff happened. cause it rained so we just like did all this weird stuff indoors. what the fuck!
1: right now, this is a good time. this makes me happy.. fuckatit
...
should this kind of horrid shit be allowed on the internet? i dunna, who cares. it's become our own personal place to dump our shit. if there's millons of pages dedicated to beastiality then why can't one page be reserved for the want and urge of a drunkie to splurge a bit all over the face of the net? jsut one page... anyways.
we're always loooking for more members so email us up. and shit.
one rule you gotta post tho.
fooools.
ok so quick poem:
eat some bum
Saturday, April 18, 2009
In Way, Shape or Form.
so i;'ve bneen around enough to knoew aht is what. and to be quite honest shit is neve like it seems. i can still smell the sb vomit stench. i can still smell my longing. i'm glad teres a new vag up in here. inst that awseome? l;ik,e, i have to pee, which is the first couple letters of penis, but what if that were changed. " i gotta take a vag" wouldnt that be awesome? it would also get people to be more comfortable hearing about vagina's in thier proper "medical" term usage. cunt is ugly but pussy is quite nice i think. "i'd really like to eat your pussy" oh? you don't say. hot, chris rock got it with the qholw "hrrm, well, i dunno, i'd like to suck your penis" MY Penis? what are you a goddadmned doctore! he made very good poinrs that i don't hink have any [lace here bvut its good to respect. its also good to note that i really am the best damn lover that yuou have a chance to meet, that goes for both y'all. but in some different ways.
dick mitten
i'mdrunk now. and i'm on a computer. so guy wants me to post. what a fascist. yeah i fixes it. he doesn't like that. i had the hiccips but i ate a piiza
so i guess being drunk is funny to you? why would that be funny? it's sad. i drank tonight because i was feeling frustrated and i was not happy with the mood i was in.
sometimes you dink with your friends and the next thing you know hteyre in their underwear and a white blazer, all miami vices magazine. talking dirty and biting yuo.
still, even though he;s disgusting we're gonna dhack up with ut friends and we'll be happy for the next year NON STOP HAPPINESS.
with chorecharts and cooking together and talking about realness.
now he wants to knowwhat throwing up in a vagina is called.
sick.
seriously
?
so i guess being drunk is funny to you? why would that be funny? it's sad. i drank tonight because i was feeling frustrated and i was not happy with the mood i was in.
sometimes you dink with your friends and the next thing you know hteyre in their underwear and a white blazer, all miami vices magazine. talking dirty and biting yuo.
still, even though he;s disgusting we're gonna dhack up with ut friends and we'll be happy for the next year NON STOP HAPPINESS.
with chorecharts and cooking together and talking about realness.
now he wants to knowwhat throwing up in a vagina is called.
sick.
seriously
?
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
So Many Names
i was Jay Gatsby for an evening.
i was Young Werther for over a year.
i am Raskolinikov when i am stealing.
i am Humbert when i watch hannah montanah.
i am Narcissus when i look in a mirror and i was Demain when i boxed.
i am Chinaski when i drink and Jean val Jean when i recvoer.
i can be Benji when i golf and Casanova when i love.
i am Rorsharch when uncompromising and Gull when i kill.
i am Frodo with conviction and Sam with my friends.
i'll be Howard Roark in New York and John Galt when i leave.
i'm Nora when unloved and Hedda Gabler when i am.
I feel like Meursault most of the time, especially when i swim.
i was Young Werther for over a year.
i am Raskolinikov when i am stealing.
i am Humbert when i watch hannah montanah.
i am Narcissus when i look in a mirror and i was Demain when i boxed.
i am Chinaski when i drink and Jean val Jean when i recvoer.
i can be Benji when i golf and Casanova when i love.
i am Rorsharch when uncompromising and Gull when i kill.
i am Frodo with conviction and Sam with my friends.
i'll be Howard Roark in New York and John Galt when i leave.
i'm Nora when unloved and Hedda Gabler when i am.
I feel like Meursault most of the time, especially when i swim.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I can drink just about anything.
just about anything really, but tonight i had a stale amsterdam beer and goddamn. i mean like, amsterdam is fuckin narsty anyways but stale? hells no peoples, tasted like sour belly buttons. anything, but i won't do that, oh no meatloaf, not will i eat you. nor. noreaga.
i hate laptops but they are sweet for being in bed or on the toilet. try it.
more of you need to post on here, i want to hear the raputurous voices of your drunkdom.
sad. sadness. and not cuz theres not enogh, on the contrary, always enough, but the stomach can fail before you do. for so long. not looking forward to the summer people, well i mean in a way i am, want to see the clothes peeled off and sit on patios. maybe peel some clorthes myself. from others.
yeah
worried about seeing some peoples again, worried i'm still a lose. still? just a lose. ah dear.
dear dear dear.
i hate laptops but they are sweet for being in bed or on the toilet. try it.
more of you need to post on here, i want to hear the raputurous voices of your drunkdom.
sad. sadness. and not cuz theres not enogh, on the contrary, always enough, but the stomach can fail before you do. for so long. not looking forward to the summer people, well i mean in a way i am, want to see the clothes peeled off and sit on patios. maybe peel some clorthes myself. from others.
yeah
worried about seeing some peoples again, worried i'm still a lose. still? just a lose. ah dear.
dear dear dear.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
happy st. paddy's
happy paddy's day
bitches.
are you feeling good?
just wanna know if you're feeling good.
no word of a lie, my white bunny and i are enjoying a moment between intoxication and sickness.
i'm holding his (billy) nose against the sneezing and he's making me feel like a good human being.
looking out for animals and such.
even though i sat through a university lecture on the proper use of pieroids and semicolons, i still don't really get; do you?
anyawys,
st.paddys day. one love for all and all a good night.
it has become its own new years of sorts. peeps asking, what was i doing last year?
preety much getting shit faced.
so live it, be it, don't pretend otherwise.
let's play, be merry, and just wake up and pretend this never happend.
night, night.
bitches.
are you feeling good?
just wanna know if you're feeling good.
no word of a lie, my white bunny and i are enjoying a moment between intoxication and sickness.
i'm holding his (billy) nose against the sneezing and he's making me feel like a good human being.
looking out for animals and such.
even though i sat through a university lecture on the proper use of pieroids and semicolons, i still don't really get; do you?
anyawys,
st.paddys day. one love for all and all a good night.
it has become its own new years of sorts. peeps asking, what was i doing last year?
preety much getting shit faced.
so live it, be it, don't pretend otherwise.
let's play, be merry, and just wake up and pretend this never happend.
night, night.
Saturday, March 14, 2009
this is the one
top 5:
5: Garages
4: Benny and the Jetts
3: Strobe Lights
2: Folding paper planes
!: The inside out of it.
- to be fair i didn't take in account, Lazers, or Crayons.
so there you go.
5: Garages
4: Benny and the Jetts
3: Strobe Lights
2: Folding paper planes
!: The inside out of it.
- to be fair i didn't take in account, Lazers, or Crayons.
so there you go.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
dirty word life, it means forever.... and that's a mighty long time
gosh, HIGH and drunk... is crazed.
my fingers feel a' burning
i know why i dom't get hight. becase i go staraigh crazed.
i lose my mind, everytghing is images and outside i feel a fucking tusnami
as iff the world is filled with water.
and i thinik i need to crap, only i feet the darknesss outside my room. here there is ligt
i am in argentina during a hail storm and life
well life is ok.
is what isay
gran turino is amazing
top 5 gran turinos
5.josh holms
4,adiresn brody
3.dick nvan dyke
2. o joe johnsons
1. clint eastwoon
what is that dirty word... and where did you ever come from?
my fingers feel a' burning
i know why i dom't get hight. becase i go staraigh crazed.
i lose my mind, everytghing is images and outside i feel a fucking tusnami
as iff the world is filled with water.
and i thinik i need to crap, only i feet the darknesss outside my room. here there is ligt
i am in argentina during a hail storm and life
well life is ok.
is what isay
gran turino is amazing
top 5 gran turinos
5.josh holms
4,adiresn brody
3.dick nvan dyke
2. o joe johnsons
1. clint eastwoon
what is that dirty word... and where did you ever come from?
Flash
today i was flashed. i didn't know what to think because the flasher was a lesbo. and i think i love her. not because of the tits though, but i must say the i saw was a good one! onlyv one though. titties after 20 months is great always. yall can show ne.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
a-Thinking
Before i die, i'd like to fall asleep sitting on the toilet one night.
With my head on my fist pondering much like The Thinker.
Only instead of pondering humanity at the gates of oblivion i'd be pondering weather to shit where i'm sitting or to shift a bit and vomit in the tub.
i'd wake up having done niether and make all of you beautiful people breakfast.
With my head on my fist pondering much like The Thinker.
Only instead of pondering humanity at the gates of oblivion i'd be pondering weather to shit where i'm sitting or to shift a bit and vomit in the tub.
i'd wake up having done niether and make all of you beautiful people breakfast.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Where in God's name am I?
Theres like, no fucking lights in this living room, and i feel like i'm typing at a retreat, which is good and all but shit, how can a home have no lights in the licing room hmmm? the archduke wants to get high with me and i do too but i've sworn it off as i have planned dancing and sex. or anything of the sort, i gueses both are hand in hand and all. swaying of the hips and closeness and that little sense of knowing something thqat you think the other hasnt thought of yet and using it to your sexing advantage. i think super mario on the snes was the best, but even after reading king kadars post 7 times and playing it all through my youth im still not sure what its proper name is. i try not to smoke for fear of heart complications these days. i try not to love either, same problem. today i didnt do much except enjoy company and play warcraft 3. the expansh.
people tell me that bender has left the common vernacular and i tell them that its just a matter of perception and greed. fresh blows the wind to the homeland, my german darling, where have you gone? oh im damn clever for you detectives. this is the greatest threat to vanity and not at all i just felt like writing it. best idea ever, just needs more. and more. dont we all. my comps all fucked so i cant even listne to muy own tunes anymore these dayts, im left at the mercy, christ its bad. bad bad. and now heres a poem!
roses are red
violets are blue (violet? purple?)
tiny tim is dead
and so are you.
people tell me that bender has left the common vernacular and i tell them that its just a matter of perception and greed. fresh blows the wind to the homeland, my german darling, where have you gone? oh im damn clever for you detectives. this is the greatest threat to vanity and not at all i just felt like writing it. best idea ever, just needs more. and more. dont we all. my comps all fucked so i cant even listne to muy own tunes anymore these dayts, im left at the mercy, christ its bad. bad bad. and now heres a poem!
roses are red
violets are blue (violet? purple?)
tiny tim is dead
and so are you.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
pooooootaaaaaaatooooooooooo
got drunk with roomates and threw potatoes and mayonnaisy french fries and nutella=shmeared bread at the windows of my neighbours. potato i chucked went inside window and boy looked at me. living on seventh floor is fun. hope I donèt get stuck in elevator with him.
Blunkdroggers 101
so this may feel once youve read it like wshit, its way to personal, but fuck it, this is a blog (christ i hate that word) for drunks, hence the name, and if you cant deal with that than you can suck on my limp drunk dick. take it some where. else.
so here i am, sitting here in some one elses house, drinking someone elses booze, petting someone elses cat who looks like hitler and im thinking tshoit, where have i gone? i ate with my hands tonight and havent taken the big old spraying shit im sure ethiopians are quite aqquanited with, esxcept in ther ecase ihts cuz of dirty ass water but hell, im itlaian and we took them down in ww2, and that was aboujt it really. razism? i hate native art. yup., i said it. it was my birthday not too long ago, 24 and shit i dont feel like jack bauer or even a wildboy. was sutherland in that? the younger? i am trapped in my inablity to make anythning but thats ok, no itws not, teafcher? prof? who am i kidding? i shouldnt poist this but i will., i think i love all of you, except for the ones i dont or dont really know but you know what?> checfk the beginning jerkoffs. dont like your jerkoff name, jerkoff face, dont like uyou. jerkoff. anyways, 24. sucks balls. lonely, sore dick, not even from over foreplay or grin ding, as has b een the case in my oh so ill illulstrious past. left in a place where i have no fucking clue how to change, all i can do is harken back and wish i had been a better man, lover. does it matter now? no ofcourwse not. does anything i do NoW matter? no, prolly not, ofcourse not, am i so stupid as to think wso and and continje you to think so? yes. i want to be on the 14th floor and be applicaple with you and youre red lipstick and hair. sorry. i wanna read this over bujt know that i shuouldnt, limp dink sucking and all that. broken heart. and all that.
but i digress.
and now
on a lighter notge
the top 5r men i would let touch my body for free.
5- johhney depp- an old staple of sexy lists, johneey is just a goddamned beautiful man. great actor, sharp cheekbones and with a good attitude towards drinking and smoking. juvinile? yes. sexy? yes.
4- paul bettany- first saw him in gangster no. 1 and thought he was jsut the coolest. those scenes where he gets all crazy in the miouth were just the best. married to a gorgoeus women aswell (jennifer connely) he was the most beautiful part of a beautiful mind.
3- clive owen - i wasnt sure about putting him here, but i think the sexiness in sin city deserves it, plus i think clive has got one of the coolest voices ive ever heard. as much as like the "mad" kid in the new ones, i think clive would have been better.
2- colin farrell- he's just sex to me, great looking irishman, good actor (tigerland? yeah, watch it assholes) better when he was a drug addict and drunkard but hell, arent we all? well i mean hes not any more and`has done his latest work not being one but hell.
1- Cillian Murphy - fuck, this man is just goddamned gorgeous. first saw him in batman begins and i was smitten, mind you i was stoned on pot laced with shampoo but those piercing blue eyes ejust killed me. and then in the wind that shakes the barley? he can shake my barley anytime. great actor, even played a woman in breakfast at jupiter, which i didnt see cuz i like my men as men but you know, if your into that...anyways, cillian, sex sex sex. i love this man. sunshine was grreat too.
so thats it. honoruble mentions will follow. notice to my love kendallia, 4 of 5 of these men are from the british isles, keep those eyes peeled baby!
so here i am, sitting here in some one elses house, drinking someone elses booze, petting someone elses cat who looks like hitler and im thinking tshoit, where have i gone? i ate with my hands tonight and havent taken the big old spraying shit im sure ethiopians are quite aqquanited with, esxcept in ther ecase ihts cuz of dirty ass water but hell, im itlaian and we took them down in ww2, and that was aboujt it really. razism? i hate native art. yup., i said it. it was my birthday not too long ago, 24 and shit i dont feel like jack bauer or even a wildboy. was sutherland in that? the younger? i am trapped in my inablity to make anythning but thats ok, no itws not, teafcher? prof? who am i kidding? i shouldnt poist this but i will., i think i love all of you, except for the ones i dont or dont really know but you know what?> checfk the beginning jerkoffs. dont like your jerkoff name, jerkoff face, dont like uyou. jerkoff. anyways, 24. sucks balls. lonely, sore dick, not even from over foreplay or grin ding, as has b een the case in my oh so ill illulstrious past. left in a place where i have no fucking clue how to change, all i can do is harken back and wish i had been a better man, lover. does it matter now? no ofcourwse not. does anything i do NoW matter? no, prolly not, ofcourse not, am i so stupid as to think wso and and continje you to think so? yes. i want to be on the 14th floor and be applicaple with you and youre red lipstick and hair. sorry. i wanna read this over bujt know that i shuouldnt, limp dink sucking and all that. broken heart. and all that.
but i digress.
and now
on a lighter notge
the top 5r men i would let touch my body for free.
5- johhney depp- an old staple of sexy lists, johneey is just a goddamned beautiful man. great actor, sharp cheekbones and with a good attitude towards drinking and smoking. juvinile? yes. sexy? yes.
4- paul bettany- first saw him in gangster no. 1 and thought he was jsut the coolest. those scenes where he gets all crazy in the miouth were just the best. married to a gorgoeus women aswell (jennifer connely) he was the most beautiful part of a beautiful mind.
3- clive owen - i wasnt sure about putting him here, but i think the sexiness in sin city deserves it, plus i think clive has got one of the coolest voices ive ever heard. as much as like the "mad" kid in the new ones, i think clive would have been better.
2- colin farrell- he's just sex to me, great looking irishman, good actor (tigerland? yeah, watch it assholes) better when he was a drug addict and drunkard but hell, arent we all? well i mean hes not any more and`has done his latest work not being one but hell.
1- Cillian Murphy - fuck, this man is just goddamned gorgeous. first saw him in batman begins and i was smitten, mind you i was stoned on pot laced with shampoo but those piercing blue eyes ejust killed me. and then in the wind that shakes the barley? he can shake my barley anytime. great actor, even played a woman in breakfast at jupiter, which i didnt see cuz i like my men as men but you know, if your into that...anyways, cillian, sex sex sex. i love this man. sunshine was grreat too.
so thats it. honoruble mentions will follow. notice to my love kendallia, 4 of 5 of these men are from the british isles, keep those eyes peeled baby!
Saturday, February 21, 2009
SUPER MARIO BROSHOESOBAMAWOES
ok ok ok
but this is what in trying to say
ok look.
ok wait
hold on
wait,,,,, wait, fucj,i.m missin my moment
wait hold on, ok i got it,,, wait
now that im tyoing it out i realise im losing it,
fuck
ok so lifel
no wait,
see if its like this we all have dreams, we all wanna be porn stars, or owners of greasy spoons, or crack dealers, or sexers, or graphic designers, or photographers, or musicians, or eggs and bacon or ham or susage, or writers, or filmmakers, or buisiness owners and that's all well and good but i think. to be fair
my dream, my dream is to influence what means most to me and that's the Nintendo Mario Bros. series.
see, i think i get it.
i think i could write the next great mario adventure. now see here old sportsbee
the first marios bros game created a world within a Mushroom Kingdom that has been overrub by, at that time, King Koopa. And you as the italain motherfuck you are you try go on a quest through every colony of the kingdom that makes up the Mushroom to save the Princess that king motherfuck koopa has take hostage for fucking coins and shit. so not only do you go through every corner of every kingdom in search of her and that ass koopa but you also nab every coin you come across so that when yuo finally meet that fucker kooopa you'll trade in those coins for your love. only thing is you've been using those coins for green mushrooms every step of the way. cause fuck it. all you goonna do is take out koopa and take back the princess. cause you're a one team swat team that goes by the name mario.
so we have that. the first marios bros. your bro luigi is back up. and he's mad dope. i love luigi.e
so first mario bros done, you fuck up king koopa and all his minions take all the money you can and bring the princess back to give her the once over in her gian castle.
now mario bros. 2.
see this is a fucking wriote off because at the end you realise it's all a dream. great ending for such an early game in gaming fucktits.
but still you end the game to find out it's all a dream. so really, you just siotting at home as mario dreaming abiout the hayday when the princess would layt you because you saved her that one time when you were bad ass but koopa being all incracerated and shit, means peach has been doing her own thing.
then it's mario 3 time.
see here it's some true real shit.
mario has never been more on his A game then now. Once again he's called in for a purpose to fuck up all assholes taking control of the mushroom kindom in search of the princess and taking every fucking coin you can find. and keeping that shit.
only things have changed. here, to try and stop Koopa from future hostage situations it seems the princeess has divided up here kingdom into smaller kindoms. giving new lords and kings their own owner ship over those lands. so if koopa comes back he'll only terrorize the now recognizeable "mushroom kingdom:". that is now just one colony. But the thing is, in Martio 3 this here Koopa didn't get the messege so he goes on fucking over ever new "king" or "lord" he comes across. Turning them into different defensless animales. so you go on your changind them back as mario. and in retun they give you letters from that sweet piece of ass. When the day is done, you end up fucking koopa over, taking all the money, restoring peace to the colonies, and bringing that sweet piece of ass back home... your bed. so you can stop the bad dreams that was mario 2.
Then you have Super Mario World for the snes.
Here what i feel has happened is that you have banished Koopa to a new world across the stars. A dinasaur planet where he can be more at home. Here he gains power once again, gaining influence over the dumber dinos and renaming himself something more tribal and true to his nature; Bowser.
so now you got Bowser, all pissed, rallying the troops on this dinosaur planet to revolt. What they do is steal the Princess away from her world and hold her hostage again. So you Mario comes out guns a' blazing and says fuck ya'll fucking dinos, she's my bitch i've had enough. so you take out every dino moefuck in ur way until you reach the princess.
see. there's some dinos on that planet that wanna keep the peace. the race of yoshis are like the hippies of the dinosaur world. They want no part in the revolt. and thru them you stage a one man resistence that takes the world over, one continent at a time until you reveal bowser, hiding in his liar and fuck him over. you took all his coin, you take the princess back. you run the shit. you're mario, you're the last resort, and you FUCKING GET RESULTS.
ok so what happens next?
now on snes a bunch of different shit but i'll stick with the classics.
mario rpg sees just the mushroom kingdom thrown in upheal due to some otherworldly mother fucks trying to embraoh on citizens dreams and and wishes. they take al the wish stars out the sky, and take all the power away from good vs. evil so the whole kingdom has run amock. How else are you goonna see mario fighting along side a cloud, bowesr and the princes??
serious, shit goes off. And it shows that bowser is as addicted to the fight as mario is. And the princess loves to be fought over. but they all come together to fight that. it's beauty. pure form. i love it.
64.... mario 64.
this is crazy because it's not about the knigdom at large. Bowser as gone straight to the source with some vodoo magic nad has taken the prince into the paintings inside her castle, you as mario jump into theses paintings... which all represent snapshots of the greater mushroom kingdom, to fight against this magic. beautiful shit. but it's not the kingdom. its mario fighting in paintings getting to bowser, thrwoing his tail around into a big circle and thrwoing him until he says uncle.. great shit, of course. but not primp yet... i feel
so we go gamecube,
and mario has decided to take a vacay after improsining bowser, again. but in this lovely island getaway on the mushroom kingdom boswers son, who you thought was ok becase you were gokarting wiht im fucking months before, graffitis everything and takes the princess again, hostage now for bowser release. you know what?????? fuck that noize! mario is too pissed an not only will he take all bowser jr.s coins but he will also clean up all that shity mess you call art and then take oyu out. and fucking enjoy his vacay. great.
ok ok i'm mising someshit.
but basiciallly last we have mario galaxy
ok bowser has broken out. he has taken the princesss and was like fuck it. "i can't keep her here in the mushroom kingdom and i can't take her to dinosaur world, so i'ma take her to space acroos the univese, fuck that noize"
and he rocks that shit. he's hardcore. to save the princess i had to send that fucker bowser into the sun and he still came back for a second round! crazy ass. but i secured the princess... i secured the galaxty... the universe... so what next?
what can mario do now?
well i feel that the next mario game can really flesh out the mushroom kingdom.. what the the princess peach controls and what she doesn't... and how that effects Mario party, mario go kart, and mario tennis... oh and gold... and baseball... and soccer.
where the fuck does it all relate?
let's go back to the Kingdom and make shit happpen. C'mon bowser let's fuck shit up
so here's what i think for a good next mario game
1) go old school and have bower run amock in the mushroom kingdom but do it with triple the hear this time
2) have some outer being fuck shit up so that mario and bowser are forced to team up again
3) go fucking meta on us and have bowser follow mario back to new york thru the pipes where he's just a lonely fat plumber and have him run amock our world and have mario save it. the end hsould have obama giving a speach about mario and how we should all emulate him. YES WE CAN he will say, YES WE CAN be like mario and look out for our fellow brother, wether it be Luigi, or Joe Nobody, or bum on the corner. yes we can help protect and maintain a better world that isn't run amock by a horny dinosaur named Bowser... and make sure you keep all your fucking coins...
ok ok ok..
i got.. it.
that was it...
ok?
but this is what in trying to say
ok look.
ok wait
hold on
wait,,,,, wait, fucj,i.m missin my moment
wait hold on, ok i got it,,, wait
now that im tyoing it out i realise im losing it,
fuck
ok so lifel
no wait,
see if its like this we all have dreams, we all wanna be porn stars, or owners of greasy spoons, or crack dealers, or sexers, or graphic designers, or photographers, or musicians, or eggs and bacon or ham or susage, or writers, or filmmakers, or buisiness owners and that's all well and good but i think. to be fair
my dream, my dream is to influence what means most to me and that's the Nintendo Mario Bros. series.
see, i think i get it.
i think i could write the next great mario adventure. now see here old sportsbee
the first marios bros game created a world within a Mushroom Kingdom that has been overrub by, at that time, King Koopa. And you as the italain motherfuck you are you try go on a quest through every colony of the kingdom that makes up the Mushroom to save the Princess that king motherfuck koopa has take hostage for fucking coins and shit. so not only do you go through every corner of every kingdom in search of her and that ass koopa but you also nab every coin you come across so that when yuo finally meet that fucker kooopa you'll trade in those coins for your love. only thing is you've been using those coins for green mushrooms every step of the way. cause fuck it. all you goonna do is take out koopa and take back the princess. cause you're a one team swat team that goes by the name mario.
so we have that. the first marios bros. your bro luigi is back up. and he's mad dope. i love luigi.e
so first mario bros done, you fuck up king koopa and all his minions take all the money you can and bring the princess back to give her the once over in her gian castle.
now mario bros. 2.
see this is a fucking wriote off because at the end you realise it's all a dream. great ending for such an early game in gaming fucktits.
but still you end the game to find out it's all a dream. so really, you just siotting at home as mario dreaming abiout the hayday when the princess would layt you because you saved her that one time when you were bad ass but koopa being all incracerated and shit, means peach has been doing her own thing.
then it's mario 3 time.
see here it's some true real shit.
mario has never been more on his A game then now. Once again he's called in for a purpose to fuck up all assholes taking control of the mushroom kindom in search of the princess and taking every fucking coin you can find. and keeping that shit.
only things have changed. here, to try and stop Koopa from future hostage situations it seems the princeess has divided up here kingdom into smaller kindoms. giving new lords and kings their own owner ship over those lands. so if koopa comes back he'll only terrorize the now recognizeable "mushroom kingdom:". that is now just one colony. But the thing is, in Martio 3 this here Koopa didn't get the messege so he goes on fucking over ever new "king" or "lord" he comes across. Turning them into different defensless animales. so you go on your changind them back as mario. and in retun they give you letters from that sweet piece of ass. When the day is done, you end up fucking koopa over, taking all the money, restoring peace to the colonies, and bringing that sweet piece of ass back home... your bed. so you can stop the bad dreams that was mario 2.
Then you have Super Mario World for the snes.
Here what i feel has happened is that you have banished Koopa to a new world across the stars. A dinasaur planet where he can be more at home. Here he gains power once again, gaining influence over the dumber dinos and renaming himself something more tribal and true to his nature; Bowser.
so now you got Bowser, all pissed, rallying the troops on this dinosaur planet to revolt. What they do is steal the Princess away from her world and hold her hostage again. So you Mario comes out guns a' blazing and says fuck ya'll fucking dinos, she's my bitch i've had enough. so you take out every dino moefuck in ur way until you reach the princess.
see. there's some dinos on that planet that wanna keep the peace. the race of yoshis are like the hippies of the dinosaur world. They want no part in the revolt. and thru them you stage a one man resistence that takes the world over, one continent at a time until you reveal bowser, hiding in his liar and fuck him over. you took all his coin, you take the princess back. you run the shit. you're mario, you're the last resort, and you FUCKING GET RESULTS.
ok so what happens next?
now on snes a bunch of different shit but i'll stick with the classics.
mario rpg sees just the mushroom kingdom thrown in upheal due to some otherworldly mother fucks trying to embraoh on citizens dreams and and wishes. they take al the wish stars out the sky, and take all the power away from good vs. evil so the whole kingdom has run amock. How else are you goonna see mario fighting along side a cloud, bowesr and the princes??
serious, shit goes off. And it shows that bowser is as addicted to the fight as mario is. And the princess loves to be fought over. but they all come together to fight that. it's beauty. pure form. i love it.
64.... mario 64.
this is crazy because it's not about the knigdom at large. Bowser as gone straight to the source with some vodoo magic nad has taken the prince into the paintings inside her castle, you as mario jump into theses paintings... which all represent snapshots of the greater mushroom kingdom, to fight against this magic. beautiful shit. but it's not the kingdom. its mario fighting in paintings getting to bowser, thrwoing his tail around into a big circle and thrwoing him until he says uncle.. great shit, of course. but not primp yet... i feel
so we go gamecube,
and mario has decided to take a vacay after improsining bowser, again. but in this lovely island getaway on the mushroom kingdom boswers son, who you thought was ok becase you were gokarting wiht im fucking months before, graffitis everything and takes the princess again, hostage now for bowser release. you know what?????? fuck that noize! mario is too pissed an not only will he take all bowser jr.s coins but he will also clean up all that shity mess you call art and then take oyu out. and fucking enjoy his vacay. great.
ok ok i'm mising someshit.
but basiciallly last we have mario galaxy
ok bowser has broken out. he has taken the princesss and was like fuck it. "i can't keep her here in the mushroom kingdom and i can't take her to dinosaur world, so i'ma take her to space acroos the univese, fuck that noize"
and he rocks that shit. he's hardcore. to save the princess i had to send that fucker bowser into the sun and he still came back for a second round! crazy ass. but i secured the princess... i secured the galaxty... the universe... so what next?
what can mario do now?
well i feel that the next mario game can really flesh out the mushroom kingdom.. what the the princess peach controls and what she doesn't... and how that effects Mario party, mario go kart, and mario tennis... oh and gold... and baseball... and soccer.
where the fuck does it all relate?
let's go back to the Kingdom and make shit happpen. C'mon bowser let's fuck shit up
so here's what i think for a good next mario game
1) go old school and have bower run amock in the mushroom kingdom but do it with triple the hear this time
2) have some outer being fuck shit up so that mario and bowser are forced to team up again
3) go fucking meta on us and have bowser follow mario back to new york thru the pipes where he's just a lonely fat plumber and have him run amock our world and have mario save it. the end hsould have obama giving a speach about mario and how we should all emulate him. YES WE CAN he will say, YES WE CAN be like mario and look out for our fellow brother, wether it be Luigi, or Joe Nobody, or bum on the corner. yes we can help protect and maintain a better world that isn't run amock by a horny dinosaur named Bowser... and make sure you keep all your fucking coins...
ok ok ok..
i got.. it.
that was it...
ok?
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