Still Here

You're still here. you brought me perogies and orange juice. But you're still here
why is that? Why did I let you back into my home. just remember I'm letting you nowher near my heart. But yes, you can have some rum. ive tried very hard to keep this friendship alive because i feel like i owe you something. Maybe it's my life, maybe it's my sanity, but I owe you for saving iot. And because of that we are still here. but I don't know if I can keep doing this. It's a onesided friendship,
well that is until you factor in the abuse.
wether verbal or mental or physical, I know what you are capable of and what you do. So really it's hgard to let you in on a more permenant basis. the first time you yelled at me i remember i was so shocked I laid face down in my pillow-cum-tissue and cried for 3 hours straight. one of the hardest cries in my life. The first time I figured out you were manipulating me I cried and cursed you on and off for a whole day. the first time you hit me I shut down almost completely, locking myself away from the world for several days. Not eating, or sleeping, or socializing, or going to class. Least of all talking to you.
And now you are on my couch., watching a wrestling dvd. I'm watching wrestling too, ya know. I'm watching my thoughts wrestle it out before me; fingers vs keys, thoughts vs screen.
you vs me.