Fey Grim

regardless of Michael and Farrah's fates we tread on, boats against the current....

i continue to broaden the distance between me and things oh so complicated.
i still dance with the moon beams, and the sun beams. only now it's harder and with such violence.

so this little number walks into the bar tonight and i know her and she cocks her head to the side and gives me a curious look. and i know she recognizes me but she can't place it. but she wants to place it.. and for good reason.

See, one night i was more gentlemanly than one ought to be and i took care of her while she was going off the deep end on a weekend stupor. She could only make out offensive 5 word sentences before she had to bow her head to the pavement again.
As best as i could i kept her head afloat, she only said nice things to me. Every passerby got the lash of her inebriated tongue.
I finally carry her into the party that she insists we must go to and things are going well...
hmm, as well as they could given the circumstances.
we talk a bit, we dance, we bring our bodies closer. we hug more. we kiss some, we're heating things up. she's leveling out and recognizing me as an ally, as a friend.
i tell her i'll be back with some drinks,
head to the bar and buy her a gin and tonic and a rye and ginger for myself.
i walk back through the zoo and find her pressed up against someone else.
and in that moment i did what any sensible person would do.
i look at the guy and make notes in my head of all the amazing things he is. how he is the opposite of me, how he demolishes all my short comings. and in their corner of ravagement a tap the little number on her shoulder, she turns quick and i hand her the drink.
then i continue my night on the other side of the room. drinking off the coldness of the winter weather outside and to beige out the corner these two are occupying.

tonight, in much better weather, she sits across from me and is cocking her head to the side. and i grin back.
someone tries to introduce us but she stops him and says "no, i know you from somewhere"
and i say "you do, we've met before"
"really? where?"
i just smile and turn back to my conversation. Throughout the night i catch her giving me that same look. cocking to the side. she's trying to remember something, a recognition she had on some far gone colder night.

i'm too busy dancing the moon and the soon beams.
while the rest of the world lives in a state of caution, i push for a state of uncomplication.
while this is one boring place to push for, it gets me by. The car is moving too fast to jump into the road so i'll just turn up the radio and let the smooth sounds of MJ singing "rock wit you" take me away.

Wrong House

So the other week i was on a big drunk (not like now, which is a little one, drinkin a six and watching 300; so many men, so many tight, bodied men) where i decided to go out a walkin. i had drank a bottle of wine first thing that morning, and, unable to stay at home with my parents, who were understandably worried i left the house figuring i could go see my old friend kyle, who just might be at home. i showed to his house after hitting the liquor store but as it turns out he had recnently moceved out and i stumbled upon a friendly looking dude and 2 chicks drinking a bottle of wine. i asked if this was still my frends house and they had no idea, having just started there habitaion. but, upon seeing i had booze with me they invited me in, where i talked at length to the guy about modern elcotro/house becuase he was a dj. i asked what his name was and he said frank. i asked waht his dj name was and he said the same. frank the dj? dj frank. i played soem soulwax for him and he played me his own shit, which was good. we smoked and drank down there in my former friends bedroom, now a sound studio. as it happens i was too drunk and upon going upstairs and finishing my own booz i just took a big swig of the wine bottle, at which both women were horrified, i believe one saying she no longer wanted to drink her booze. i looked to dj frank for supposrt but he was all like nah man, that wasnt cool. so i left promptly after that, think i may have fell down and hit the curve, not sure, my hip is bruised. or was, it was a while ago.

fixed, forked, and fortified

my phone keeps rubbing my leg. its vibrating the whole night.
i read the text. my company is request northward. but i don't mind it where i am.
but i, being the gentleman that i am, oblige and head to Sneaky Dees. a bar that i thought i could wash off my skin completely but the stench of it lingers. It smells of new flesh. younger flesh. and too many green coloured bottles downed much too quickly.
I'm half in the bag a sit down with a green bottle waiting and willing on table sitting across from young flesh that's grasping on to young flesh.
we start talking about film and i get it right away.
I'm the elder here. i have the right of way. these bodies shiver in my presence but they have balls, unlike i did when i was them. they want to impress but they can't. i have know more, i call their bluffs i see through their bullshit.
this new requesting flesh rubbing on newer flesh keeps making eyes with me and i should feel alone. i should feel ashamed or at least some what embarrassed. but i ain't. I'm half gone and all i really need is to finish this bottle and get out of here.
i down it quick and tell the kiddies to fuck off about star trek.
i go to unlock my bike, drunk and riding is never a good idea but fuck it, i wear a helmet.
this desperate youth hugs me, kisses me gently asks me how i've been. i laugh and nod along, i tell her that it was nice to meet her new boyfriend. and she laughs, longer than she ought to.
she says "no, god no. he isn't my boyfriend. he's asleep. this is just some guy. oh i'm so bad" she says laughing. repeating it over and over whilst giggling "i'm so bad"
then she looks me square in the eyes and says "sorry"
i bite down on the cigarette i'm lighting up and say "its ok"
but what im really thinking is "im glad im not your boyfriend"
on my ride home i see the two young bodies in a fury on the street. unashamed, unworried, letting go. giving it their all cause really, fuck it. right? just fuck it.
i should feel old. my bones should wiggle with tension but i dont care anymore.
im too old to mind and too young to care.
its all big joke.

i get home and a group of men are yelling "GANG BANG GANG BANG!" and a giggling girl on their walk home. some nights you realize that no matter where you could be in the world, whether it be hitting on Swiss women in the alps, necking on a canoe in the Yukon, or just making love to your computer in a Brooklyn loft. that no matter where we are we are all too silly. too quick at the draw. too willing, yet too withholding.
the women want husbands, the men want concubines. and the meek shall inherit the Earth.

today was the first day i rode my bike without holding the bars. i pedaled and dance down every street i could. i did it drunk on the way home too. i think it comes from an overwhelming feeling of just letting go. not fearing the biting of the curb and embracing sun and moon beams alike.
The city is mating, the people are fucking in disgusting ways, and some of us are drinking too much. we are the people of the streets under pressure.
pressure pushing down on me, its pushing down on you

learning the curves

when the green is cleared away and your ball is set up on the tee, please take the shot.
just take it, you might as well.
even tho Bill Murray is watching you from the bushes
if you just take the shot and send it into the woods then fuck it. at least you gave the voyeurs watching some damn entertainment.
you got the club, take the shot, fuck what everyone else thinks.
just you, some grass, and balls. hit it!
but do, however, take into account the wind factor.
cause Toronto blows mighty hard,
it comes from the east in the early afternoon and the west in the night... be warned