And here I was worried that you'd ruin The Hold Steady

I cannot listen to The Format without thinking of you. There is not a single song that I hear that doesn't make me remember exactly how I felt when i fisrst heard it with you. and the first time we saw them live. and every time we speak of them.

the taste of smoke on your lips, sinking in to my skin, making my lungs explode. you were the reason why i loved losing sleep. and stealing song quotes.

my heart begins to break when i remember that they broke up. i miss them greatly. and you too. but then again, we were always like them. we all ended so that our friendships wouldnt fall apart, but acknowlege the amazing music we had all made,together. and though we all had our dog problems, theres always still that spark that our hearts yearn , crave, to have again.

"let's tune out by turning on the radio"

Mistakes are just decisions yourefuse to Accept

Sweat off your forehead, nails in your back, teeth in my neck, tangled fingers in my hair, high fives, questions that always answer yes: all just patterns that we fall into.

And for the life of me I'll never know why we fall into them, why you pick me time and time again.

I am so inadequate next to mr.Perfect.

She can't afford to live like this, she can't be dumb enough to dream so big

Met a man tonite who used to work at glendon. His life isnt any better.

I'm not sure what I should say now. I could let my heart all out on the line but that would leave me defenceless. And I love my gated-heart-community. Sometimes I feel as if I've let too much out, then I remember there's so much more that I keep locked away. I often think of myself as an open person but really im much more secretive. i love my secrets, i live ijn my secrets, i feed on my secrets.

i miss CW. one of the few men who could get any secret out of me if he wanted, only because he is one of the secrets. i miss SC. one of the few people i could completely let go with and not worry what he'd think of me. i miss BL. the only person who knew me inside and out. im afraid ill never get that again with anyone, woman or man.

i wish i remembeered what life was like before sex. the sweet innocence i felt before man. the past taht i dealt with solely without all the troubl;es love ensued.

kiss the curb all over and over again

you ride home and i'll try not to vomit out of a cab like the guy i passed on my bike on the way home.
i don't know you
that well
i don't me much better.

i dance alone when the drinks are strong enough, no one can stop me till the night closes in... till the night closes in.

summer no love

If i was a Wrestler my name would be The Cuddler,
and my signature would be holding you while you tried to slap me off because it was summer and much too hot for that kinda thing.

i can pretend what the constellations are.

whaaaaoh here i am heroes and pharoes. i'm officially out and looking for some good money, cash. they changed the locks those fuckers, never back again for me. shoulda ssiped more vip card, but hell. found myself in the shit pit and the only way is up, don't wory bout me, i Am the liquor. the bowling ball left and all iahve are the good jokes, your pretty feet on the pavement be3fore ifucked off.

ten things i hate about she's all that breakfest club bringing it on

there's really only two things you can do at the end of a night when there's only two combatants walking out of bar stumbling.

one's gonna want you to walk them home, the other is going to want to go home.
sometimes you're the one wanted to be walked home and it feels shitty, now granted i'm a gentleman. i'll walk you home at the end of the night if you don't feel secure in that walk. it's no sweat. but if you wanna ramble on about your feelings i'd rather be at home making patterns out of the stuco on my ceiling as i lie in bed imagining a life that doesn't remotely involve any of your issues.

now, i love, will love, have loved everyone who wants to take the chance to get closer to me.
but, i'm not a plaything, i will hit you back if you hit me.
i'm not gonna chase you down at an airport begging you to not get on that plane, i won't show up at prom at butt in to ask for a dance, i won't crash your wedding. don't rely on me for any dramatic gestures. i'm just the guy telling you about the weather, djing the dance, playing the organ. good for you, i mean good FOR you.

still i feel pulled in different directions, i must save face and that means holding my punches and that's just too much effort.
the city keeps getting brighter, people complain more and more, and i just like being able to wear my sunglasses at night.

well kids, wether you're stalled at an alter of false hope or lost in the fields grasping at every new flower you see and christening them "love" you're still eventually gonna have to dust off the dirt stains on your knees and realize you gotta call bullshit more often.

they fell from heaven and carried me away

I don't have much to say. Honestly. But I have the urge to write, and since nothing that I write will be useful or productive, i have found myself here.

I've been listening to the playlist I made for my best friend. She's having trouble getting over an awful boy. Yes, I said boy and not man for a reason. A maturity reason. I titled the playlist: "Music+Science=Sexy: A 27-step, guaranteed, get over him, playlist" It's not helping her the way I thought it would.
Now I am listening to it on a loop. Beginning to end. Straight through with no shuffle. And it's not helping the way I thought it would.
I miss being desired, I miss being loved, and I didn't realize how much I missed it until now.

My body and mind are caught in a conflict right now: am i searching for some kind of meaning ful relationship, or do I just really want to get laid? My jhope is that both thoughts can coincide happily.... but things like that are never so simple in my world. Both items are a dragged out process which usually leaves me battered and bruised in the end,. it doesn't stop me from wanting them though. im a little bit of a masochist if you didnt realize. an emotional masochist but still a masochist. am i even spelling that right? who give a fuck im, drunk and i will spellhorribly if i want! I just hope the grammar nazi never sees this. i dopnt want to have to satrt writing secret anne frank-esque blogs.

i was talking to a friend tonight that i am sad i don't spend more time with and he made me realize a few thing about my life. mostly that if he had never come into the picture i would not be in a good place, and i would still be clinging on to the only thing i thought i had left wihich is a faulty friendship where i have been guilted into owing my very soul to someone has abusued me in more ways that i wish were reakl. my life has been a series of far overdramatic events thus far, and im done with that. ive been done with that before i even met the wonderful people i know now.
And I don't know how i can deal with out them now. i feel pathetic saying it, but they are everything to me. and i feel compleytely and utterly alone when im not with them, or when they dont call, or when the shy away from all those social messaging sites.

So this is me. No fancy analogies. No spell check. Heart on the line. Ready and willing. Cliches a blazin.
And I can't apologize for it, because, for once in my life, I want everyone to see me as I am and love me for it.