foolish girlss eventually stop being foolish

I can smell you on me and it makes me sick.
I hate having you hands alll over me
i cants stand when you pull me into you. when you touch my head hands feet

i drown away my disgust in the half emoty bottle s . they lay waiting. its as if they know. they were ready for you. i was not

I dont want you to hold me
or touch me
or smell my hair.
or hug me
or smile that smarmy smile that always asks for more

i don't know what i had been thinking all this time.
the wet driveway held excitement, remincint rain, it felt new. you did not

Automatic Girl

Shrink wrap your kiss in plastic love
make my mind up when you return
I don't know what has happened to me these days

Everyone always blames the Geminis for their duality... but it's not just us, it's never just us. We go about life wanting what we wanting, getting bord of monotony, and changing opinons. Yet we aren't the only ones. Everyone has a bit of Gemini in them. Strong willed and stubborn, curious amnd distracted, communicative and restless, selfish and confused. That's us, in a teeny tiny nutsshell. And that's the rest of the world too. Everyone wants their own way, everyone is interested in something, everyone wants to get away, everyone has a lack of personal grasp. So why am I labeled? Why am I wrong for beingme? Yeah, I'm a Jolie. And a hypocrite. And ddo I care? the answer is completely redundant.
I'll never get why it's wrong to be my sign. why i personally am not right. and why i never ever am allowed to tell people my sign.

This is the end
This is the end
This is the end of the world so it seems
I’ve got automatic love for automatic girl

luck is shifting and shifty

I thought i was slipping backwards again, falling into the that mind hole that i know I don't wanna be in.
then comfort walked in and it was all good. the chaos floated away, in amonst the bad country music and cheap cowboy hats.it was like before. it was our blooming friendship. one of theose nights where you realize "yes, we are good friends. Great friends"
I used to think when i was at my lowest point he could sense it and he'd find me and help me. but I think it's more than that. I think he needs me too. And i wasn't in as low of a spot as i thought, but he was. And I helped him. I made him forget that the world sucks right now for him. I made him see the good again.
we have the purest friendship. no bullshit. no round about words, no mind games. Pure.
and so i realized, i feel him too, no matter how far. I feel what he feels and I know what he knows and i wanna make it right too.

my luck is turning. So is my mind.

"i can see through fog" she sighed

and we relapse... together!

so i walk in the bar and her boyfriend and i share the same name, and i let go.
i let loose, i don't relate to his watching eye.
i would never date someone and sit off the dancefloor and watch your every move and take you aside afterwards and scold you for being too drunk and too flirtatious... well i might if i dated you.

see i dont date anybody, i try and fall short of whats asked of me. maybe its a problem with trust or commitment, but most likely its cause im i shit yet dont embrace being a shit.

anyways, the music bleeds on it kills cells in your ears but lifts your spirits.
and the chorus goes:
I hate your boyfriend x3
I could never be your boyfriend x3
where's the cheese at?

... and rinse and repeast as needed.

bike ride home and mist covers the expanse.
it falls heavy and fast, decending upon the streets full of young loud drunks too quickly for them to pull up their pants.
i bike harder, the cold pushing me on my way
the other day i hadn't seen my little sister in a month or two and when i say hi and embrace her she looks at me and says "i can see through fog"
i think about that, does she mean she can see through my bullshit and tell how broken i am? does it mean she's a mutant? does it mean she gets life more than her parents and i ever will? or is it the bullshit ramblings of a five year old?

i bike through the fog, my body shakes, i sweat more, i just want home, can't see make it out,
i however can't see through fog. i ain't that lucky.

your new boyfriend sucks....

just saying...

you know that song?
"i can see clearly know the rain is gone" ... yeah well that song was about drinking.

Silent sobs in the sounds of sleep

I feel not right. Its all over and my heart feels broken. i dont know what to do now.

it's so weird now. the world is so strange.

I jest and mock and poke and scoff.
I wonder if she hates me yet?

It's hard not having a best friend anymore. Before, things were so simple we were there for the each other. it was the be all and end all. now i find it hard to even make strong connection with any female companion. i have yet to find someone who i feel is worth it for me to care about.

and i like her, really i do. but she's not a best friend. more like a little sister. the little sister you want out of your room when you're alone with a boy. yet the sister you are more than willing to passon wisdom and advice too. it's just hard to be tell the everything nd be comfortable with all the time friends with someone who just isnt on the same wave length as you.

now its getting harder on me. im snapping. gtting irritated too quickly. i dont want to spend free time with her. and somehow i do feel bad, even guilty about this. i just dont know if i can keep going through the motions when the emotions arent there.

maybe there is some sort of shelter for lost friends; people who come from abused friendship or whose hearts were abandoned in a cardboard box on the side of the 416. maybe i could go there and sleep in a little cage with regular intervals of happy-but-alone until some nice friend comes along and wants to adopt this relationship. and they'll feed me and walk me and take me out to play. and we'll be really happy and grow old in friendship.
(wo)man's best friend

Dear life: what the fuck is up with you? -love nadia

Mr. Perfect didn't even hug me when he left. I didn't even get so much as a wave. I'll never understand him, how one minute he cant live witiout me, an dthe next he cant even look at me.

I had my first panic attack in alomost a year tonight. just on the insid though. i hide it from the world physically but ,entall i was losing my shit. i saw HIM for the first time in 2 years. and i didnt know what to do. i loved him. I realy truely loved him. deeper thatn any relationship. deeper than any friendship. we fit and we were perfect. nothing of a sexual nature to dilute the perfectness. and so when we fell apart it was bad and slow and painful. then we didnt speak for 2 years. 2 fucking goddamn shit eating years. im still shocked it even hapened. and 2 years later i made the first move to civility, i said "good to seee you" he vaguely nodded in my direction. if it wasnt for the people i met later i wouldve lost my mind. either way i feel the need to drown in my own pitiful tears, dreaming of th one truth i thought id hold on to forever.

thank god i had that epiphany today, cuz if i didnt i would have sought out anger and general fuck up-ed ness tonight to try and satisfy my own unsatisfaction with myself. someone could have gotten real fucked up tonight.

Havoc (?) k?

Malice! here we are with a hundred angry houswives. ima start writintg my masterpiece. be ready! iut's going to be about the mocies. and maybe love. always love, it infects a mans thought as much as dicks and pussy do. ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhh yyyyyyeaaaaaaaaaahh!!! aside from being infantile i spend my dreams dreaming for the most part. i want moon sky gnats and the mythbusters to be with me again. along with being the boyfreind for the night. oh toronty.

four toppings

the only thing carrying me right now is great melody and the abscence of anything worth giving a damn about.

i know we're all sitting in our apartments contemplating the ever impossible "next move" so i'll make it easy for you.

the "next move" is always next. will we ever make it? i doubt it. we'll keep chewing shredded gum pretending it's tabacco playing songs from the 60's and thinking of past lives we never really lived.
how's that for the new era.

being young is good cause we got dreams, its only when we become everybody else, too old for those dreams to mean anything that we sit around happy at any little thing. oh man life.... life... too wrong for this cage.

nicholas cage... nicholas cafe... nick cage cafe, double americanos with a shot of gun pwder while Iris by the goo goo dolls plays while you add in you conair cream... no white rooms, just dance.

baby.... i need your loving... got to have all your loving

Le Sigh... that's french for Sigh.

I miss the JPers. So very very much. Tongiht just solidified it.

Can we all go out and get drunk and be nostalgic even though it was only a few months ago?

I love you all.

And here I was worried that you'd ruin The Hold Steady

I cannot listen to The Format without thinking of you. There is not a single song that I hear that doesn't make me remember exactly how I felt when i fisrst heard it with you. and the first time we saw them live. and every time we speak of them.

the taste of smoke on your lips, sinking in to my skin, making my lungs explode. you were the reason why i loved losing sleep. and stealing song quotes.

my heart begins to break when i remember that they broke up. i miss them greatly. and you too. but then again, we were always like them. we all ended so that our friendships wouldnt fall apart, but acknowlege the amazing music we had all made,together. and though we all had our dog problems, theres always still that spark that our hearts yearn , crave, to have again.

"let's tune out by turning on the radio"

Mistakes are just decisions yourefuse to Accept

Sweat off your forehead, nails in your back, teeth in my neck, tangled fingers in my hair, high fives, questions that always answer yes: all just patterns that we fall into.

And for the life of me I'll never know why we fall into them, why you pick me time and time again.

I am so inadequate next to mr.Perfect.

She can't afford to live like this, she can't be dumb enough to dream so big

Met a man tonite who used to work at glendon. His life isnt any better.

I'm not sure what I should say now. I could let my heart all out on the line but that would leave me defenceless. And I love my gated-heart-community. Sometimes I feel as if I've let too much out, then I remember there's so much more that I keep locked away. I often think of myself as an open person but really im much more secretive. i love my secrets, i live ijn my secrets, i feed on my secrets.

i miss CW. one of the few men who could get any secret out of me if he wanted, only because he is one of the secrets. i miss SC. one of the few people i could completely let go with and not worry what he'd think of me. i miss BL. the only person who knew me inside and out. im afraid ill never get that again with anyone, woman or man.

i wish i remembeered what life was like before sex. the sweet innocence i felt before man. the past taht i dealt with solely without all the troubl;es love ensued.

kiss the curb all over and over again

you ride home and i'll try not to vomit out of a cab like the guy i passed on my bike on the way home.
i don't know you
that well
i don't me much better.

i dance alone when the drinks are strong enough, no one can stop me till the night closes in... till the night closes in.

summer no love

If i was a Wrestler my name would be The Cuddler,
and my signature would be holding you while you tried to slap me off because it was summer and much too hot for that kinda thing.

i can pretend what the constellations are.

whaaaaoh here i am heroes and pharoes. i'm officially out and looking for some good money, cash. they changed the locks those fuckers, never back again for me. shoulda ssiped more vip card, but hell. found myself in the shit pit and the only way is up, don't wory bout me, i Am the liquor. the bowling ball left and all iahve are the good jokes, your pretty feet on the pavement be3fore ifucked off.

ten things i hate about she's all that breakfest club bringing it on

there's really only two things you can do at the end of a night when there's only two combatants walking out of bar stumbling.

one's gonna want you to walk them home, the other is going to want to go home.
sometimes you're the one wanted to be walked home and it feels shitty, now granted i'm a gentleman. i'll walk you home at the end of the night if you don't feel secure in that walk. it's no sweat. but if you wanna ramble on about your feelings i'd rather be at home making patterns out of the stuco on my ceiling as i lie in bed imagining a life that doesn't remotely involve any of your issues.

now, i love, will love, have loved everyone who wants to take the chance to get closer to me.
but, i'm not a plaything, i will hit you back if you hit me.
i'm not gonna chase you down at an airport begging you to not get on that plane, i won't show up at prom at butt in to ask for a dance, i won't crash your wedding. don't rely on me for any dramatic gestures. i'm just the guy telling you about the weather, djing the dance, playing the organ. good for you, i mean good FOR you.

still i feel pulled in different directions, i must save face and that means holding my punches and that's just too much effort.
the city keeps getting brighter, people complain more and more, and i just like being able to wear my sunglasses at night.

well kids, wether you're stalled at an alter of false hope or lost in the fields grasping at every new flower you see and christening them "love" you're still eventually gonna have to dust off the dirt stains on your knees and realize you gotta call bullshit more often.

they fell from heaven and carried me away

I don't have much to say. Honestly. But I have the urge to write, and since nothing that I write will be useful or productive, i have found myself here.

I've been listening to the playlist I made for my best friend. She's having trouble getting over an awful boy. Yes, I said boy and not man for a reason. A maturity reason. I titled the playlist: "Music+Science=Sexy: A 27-step, guaranteed, get over him, playlist" It's not helping her the way I thought it would.
Now I am listening to it on a loop. Beginning to end. Straight through with no shuffle. And it's not helping the way I thought it would.
I miss being desired, I miss being loved, and I didn't realize how much I missed it until now.

My body and mind are caught in a conflict right now: am i searching for some kind of meaning ful relationship, or do I just really want to get laid? My jhope is that both thoughts can coincide happily.... but things like that are never so simple in my world. Both items are a dragged out process which usually leaves me battered and bruised in the end,. it doesn't stop me from wanting them though. im a little bit of a masochist if you didnt realize. an emotional masochist but still a masochist. am i even spelling that right? who give a fuck im, drunk and i will spellhorribly if i want! I just hope the grammar nazi never sees this. i dopnt want to have to satrt writing secret anne frank-esque blogs.

i was talking to a friend tonight that i am sad i don't spend more time with and he made me realize a few thing about my life. mostly that if he had never come into the picture i would not be in a good place, and i would still be clinging on to the only thing i thought i had left wihich is a faulty friendship where i have been guilted into owing my very soul to someone has abusued me in more ways that i wish were reakl. my life has been a series of far overdramatic events thus far, and im done with that. ive been done with that before i even met the wonderful people i know now.
And I don't know how i can deal with out them now. i feel pathetic saying it, but they are everything to me. and i feel compleytely and utterly alone when im not with them, or when they dont call, or when the shy away from all those social messaging sites.

So this is me. No fancy analogies. No spell check. Heart on the line. Ready and willing. Cliches a blazin.
And I can't apologize for it, because, for once in my life, I want everyone to see me as I am and love me for it.

Still Here

You're still here. you brought me perogies and orange juice. But you're still here
why is that? Why did I let you back into my home. just remember I'm letting you nowher near my heart. But yes, you can have some rum. ive tried very hard to keep this friendship alive because i feel like i owe you something. Maybe it's my life, maybe it's my sanity, but I owe you for saving iot. And because of that we are still here. but I don't know if I can keep doing this. It's a onesided friendship,
well that is until you factor in the abuse.
wether verbal or mental or physical, I know what you are capable of and what you do. So really it's hgard to let you in on a more permenant basis. the first time you yelled at me i remember i was so shocked I laid face down in my pillow-cum-tissue and cried for 3 hours straight. one of the hardest cries in my life. The first time I figured out you were manipulating me I cried and cursed you on and off for a whole day. the first time you hit me I shut down almost completely, locking myself away from the world for several days. Not eating, or sleeping, or socializing, or going to class. Least of all talking to you.
And now you are on my couch., watching a wrestling dvd. I'm watching wrestling too, ya know. I'm watching my thoughts wrestle it out before me; fingers vs keys, thoughts vs screen.
you vs me.

Amazing Stories

No, I don't rea;;y have any for you, its the name of my box. not that name perv. i have a box that i keep my mementos in, from my girlfriends, or the ones that matter, all two of you. not surew if that will change, if ever. it's got a picture of a sea beast ripping apart a boat. ha, make of that what you will. i keep all your things you left me with in there, all two of you. an old patch i never was able to put on, too much. your drawings, always make me smile. a newspaper clipping from long before everything went to hell. love you both in so different and difficult ways. got to keep that nostalgia close, a new years that i'll never forget and that one drunken time i told you i loved you the first time. for you my first my dear i burned the pages of my first diary but kept the ones that pertained to you, ah love you matter so much. this blog should not only be written drunk but read that way aswell, you'll like it better. 4 pints 2 shots later and i type and am too coherent. why does everything happen at once? sex, moulting, new avenues, you can all go to hell. i get pictures in m yhead of blowing way too many and hating the next morning. not any more. everything has been put to rest now so tell me why i cant sleep. who doesn't hate being satisfied and then dis. satisfied. over and over and over..............amazing stories. i haaaaaaad a stroke. ah christ, gotta love how booze kills the short term and then way later everything else. don't have that kind of time. atleast, not outside the box.
frisch wert der wind
der heimat zu
mein deutch kind
wo weilest du?

Waterworld Snouts

you were the high water mark
there's been close calls since but i've watched them try hit the wall and then quietly recede.
i watched you go on until my eyes couldn't focus on you

now i play a thousand different games in a thousand separate seconds and wait for my number to be called. to be given the ok to walk down any given street i desire.

on the way home i saw a slapping fight between two hipster ladies, while a hipster boy watched on bashfully. the absurdity at redlights can be baffling.

i bike on as i do in my way and think of how there's too many young folk with bikes.
i wear a uniform even though i craved my own individuality i followed the high water mark. watched all the other waves push on into the horizon and try my best to follow suit.

maybe in the hopes to clash with you again, or maybe because i'm sick of holding this measuring stick.

either way, work is coming on way too soon. and the sun isn't bashful and doesn't mind stopping silly fights.
goodnight tigresses and anteaters, here's to a completely new divide

that man is a bad influence on me. a sexy bad influence.

so i fucked up. a little. i'm fucked up now. and im not supposed to be.

$10 wasted, $20wasted, now im wasted. and fucked up. come on. so fucked up. shouldnt have but did. i really shouldnt have. i really can't. im so incoherent now.
i didnt want it to be like this. i wanted to come here and talk about the rise and fall. about how i thought you were teaching me but i was really the baby sitter. one won't hurt. no, i was your mother. Why is it that I always have to play the mother, but not just to you, to everyone? just a bit. Don't you remember what I told you? I've already played mommy to the frail and innocent, when is it my turn to be the child. sure, another is okay. i need to put it out of sight out of mind. out of my mind, thats what i am now.
i'm floating.

i've missed him so very much. I missed him when I hated him. I missed him when I walked away. I missed him when he was so awful to me that I felt nothing could save me. but not anymore. i don't have to miss him anymore. it's right where we left off. Right where we started. Where we were supposed to be right now. And it's perfect. And we are the same. The horoscope told us we are the same.
And everything is right now. Except for the spiders and peanut butter and all those itches we need to scratch but we just can't reach because our hands can't get through the skin and flesh. We'll keep the 3's on the back burners and dream of the 8's tonight. We'll pretend our picnick won't get rained on. We'll sit on the deck until our lungs ache from the smoke and mouths ache from the words.
And I will move the floating aside so that he can feel his worth in my glass.

Hey, I can light my own cigarette!

And i chain smoked my way home.
Because i don't understand when they all stopped loving me. When I became an enemy. When i needed a scapegoat. probably around the time i needed them and they abandoned me. I love how friendship works.
I met you on the bus. which i hate. it was awkward because you are awkward. When did you become so fucking awkward? maybe it was after our last/the worlds worst send off kiss. The memory of that moment is where kisses go to die. Youve gotten hotter since we ended. more defined, you've kept the chest hair, but you still wear those goddamn glasses. Me? i'd like to saythat i've changed to whether better or worse but really i dont care. because your girlfriend is a horse face. she has a horse for a face. There it's said. We all thought it but no one said it.
Then Mr.Comfort walks in and I know I'm screwed. this used to be a good thing. But I don't want it. i don't want to fall back into our old patterns. Though its like a blanket... its also on fire. you are my blanket on fire. And people always get burned by fire-blankets. We both just sat there with our beers, me wanting out, you wanting whatever it is you long for lately (which is comfort. because you are lonely. and you miss our friendship. and you miss the girl who didnt hold on.)
so when your lips touched my ear every moment rushed back. arms pinned brick walls waking up roommates up until all hours turning nouns to verbs and verbing until ouur bodies couldnt move the broken bed and subsequently the floor. so you ask to be my scapegoat. Although I do have the urge to ram my cellphone stroight through my head to get away from these people and their over negativity I just... laugh. And I let you go on your own. And I'm oddly proud of it.
Because i need to let you go.

Now i'm here and I realize i donthave anything from before and im so different and they havent changed with me. i feel more lost than I ever should. im lost on in my own maze and i think the maze is on an island because I can't seem to find anyone around here. let alone someone who knows the way.

next summer it will rain frogs

that place, is a carnival soaked in 'kermit the frog' green.
it servers the weak, the wicked, and the lost.
i join in on the fun from now and then,
but by the witching hour they are devouring one another.
these kids eat one another alive when push comes to shove.

i've walked away from enough moments that would only lead to a conclusion that would emotionally feel quite similar to a pretty bad case of blue balls or playing a whole circuit in Mario Kart to find out you finished fourth.

tonight there were moments.
moments to hold my tongue, some to bite it hard, some to twist at, some to stuck out to.
but i'll still mix them up in my chrome bowl. take the good with the worst and forget the bad competely.

it's still that frog green that it all gets doused in.
it puts me off,
keeps me staring away from the smile that sits patiently beside me.
it has me unfocusing my eyes from the freak show
losing myself in the blur to how its been the past few weeks.

my bed is full and then its empty. and i know i comprimised alot, and i know i dont feel any wrong by it.

but she reminds me of the devil on my coattails how it's all coming down on our heads one day or another and i embrace the void our destination presents. i guess.

the words are weighing down. i'm tired now.
green light stained, once again Grimmed yet content of being capable to carry out whatever dingy place i've made myself.

Cheers to the freak show, that little carnival that spins wildly in most of us.
Cheers to next summer, because quite frankly this one feels fixed

Fey Grim

regardless of Michael and Farrah's fates we tread on, boats against the current....

i continue to broaden the distance between me and things oh so complicated.
i still dance with the moon beams, and the sun beams. only now it's harder and with such violence.

so this little number walks into the bar tonight and i know her and she cocks her head to the side and gives me a curious look. and i know she recognizes me but she can't place it. but she wants to place it.. and for good reason.

See, one night i was more gentlemanly than one ought to be and i took care of her while she was going off the deep end on a weekend stupor. She could only make out offensive 5 word sentences before she had to bow her head to the pavement again.
As best as i could i kept her head afloat, she only said nice things to me. Every passerby got the lash of her inebriated tongue.
I finally carry her into the party that she insists we must go to and things are going well...
hmm, as well as they could given the circumstances.
we talk a bit, we dance, we bring our bodies closer. we hug more. we kiss some, we're heating things up. she's leveling out and recognizing me as an ally, as a friend.
i tell her i'll be back with some drinks,
head to the bar and buy her a gin and tonic and a rye and ginger for myself.
i walk back through the zoo and find her pressed up against someone else.
and in that moment i did what any sensible person would do.
i look at the guy and make notes in my head of all the amazing things he is. how he is the opposite of me, how he demolishes all my short comings. and in their corner of ravagement a tap the little number on her shoulder, she turns quick and i hand her the drink.
then i continue my night on the other side of the room. drinking off the coldness of the winter weather outside and to beige out the corner these two are occupying.

tonight, in much better weather, she sits across from me and is cocking her head to the side. and i grin back.
someone tries to introduce us but she stops him and says "no, i know you from somewhere"
and i say "you do, we've met before"
"really? where?"
i just smile and turn back to my conversation. Throughout the night i catch her giving me that same look. cocking to the side. she's trying to remember something, a recognition she had on some far gone colder night.

i'm too busy dancing the moon and the soon beams.
while the rest of the world lives in a state of caution, i push for a state of uncomplication.
while this is one boring place to push for, it gets me by. The car is moving too fast to jump into the road so i'll just turn up the radio and let the smooth sounds of MJ singing "rock wit you" take me away.

Wrong House

So the other week i was on a big drunk (not like now, which is a little one, drinkin a six and watching 300; so many men, so many tight, bodied men) where i decided to go out a walkin. i had drank a bottle of wine first thing that morning, and, unable to stay at home with my parents, who were understandably worried i left the house figuring i could go see my old friend kyle, who just might be at home. i showed to his house after hitting the liquor store but as it turns out he had recnently moceved out and i stumbled upon a friendly looking dude and 2 chicks drinking a bottle of wine. i asked if this was still my frends house and they had no idea, having just started there habitaion. but, upon seeing i had booze with me they invited me in, where i talked at length to the guy about modern elcotro/house becuase he was a dj. i asked what his name was and he said frank. i asked waht his dj name was and he said the same. frank the dj? dj frank. i played soem soulwax for him and he played me his own shit, which was good. we smoked and drank down there in my former friends bedroom, now a sound studio. as it happens i was too drunk and upon going upstairs and finishing my own booz i just took a big swig of the wine bottle, at which both women were horrified, i believe one saying she no longer wanted to drink her booze. i looked to dj frank for supposrt but he was all like nah man, that wasnt cool. so i left promptly after that, think i may have fell down and hit the curve, not sure, my hip is bruised. or was, it was a while ago.

fixed, forked, and fortified

my phone keeps rubbing my leg. its vibrating the whole night.
i read the text. my company is request northward. but i don't mind it where i am.
but i, being the gentleman that i am, oblige and head to Sneaky Dees. a bar that i thought i could wash off my skin completely but the stench of it lingers. It smells of new flesh. younger flesh. and too many green coloured bottles downed much too quickly.
I'm half in the bag a sit down with a green bottle waiting and willing on table sitting across from young flesh that's grasping on to young flesh.
we start talking about film and i get it right away.
I'm the elder here. i have the right of way. these bodies shiver in my presence but they have balls, unlike i did when i was them. they want to impress but they can't. i have know more, i call their bluffs i see through their bullshit.
this new requesting flesh rubbing on newer flesh keeps making eyes with me and i should feel alone. i should feel ashamed or at least some what embarrassed. but i ain't. I'm half gone and all i really need is to finish this bottle and get out of here.
i down it quick and tell the kiddies to fuck off about star trek.
i go to unlock my bike, drunk and riding is never a good idea but fuck it, i wear a helmet.
this desperate youth hugs me, kisses me gently asks me how i've been. i laugh and nod along, i tell her that it was nice to meet her new boyfriend. and she laughs, longer than she ought to.
she says "no, god no. he isn't my boyfriend. he's asleep. this is just some guy. oh i'm so bad" she says laughing. repeating it over and over whilst giggling "i'm so bad"
then she looks me square in the eyes and says "sorry"
i bite down on the cigarette i'm lighting up and say "its ok"
but what im really thinking is "im glad im not your boyfriend"
on my ride home i see the two young bodies in a fury on the street. unashamed, unworried, letting go. giving it their all cause really, fuck it. right? just fuck it.
i should feel old. my bones should wiggle with tension but i dont care anymore.
im too old to mind and too young to care.
its all big joke.

i get home and a group of men are yelling "GANG BANG GANG BANG!" and a giggling girl on their walk home. some nights you realize that no matter where you could be in the world, whether it be hitting on Swiss women in the alps, necking on a canoe in the Yukon, or just making love to your computer in a Brooklyn loft. that no matter where we are we are all too silly. too quick at the draw. too willing, yet too withholding.
the women want husbands, the men want concubines. and the meek shall inherit the Earth.

today was the first day i rode my bike without holding the bars. i pedaled and dance down every street i could. i did it drunk on the way home too. i think it comes from an overwhelming feeling of just letting go. not fearing the biting of the curb and embracing sun and moon beams alike.
The city is mating, the people are fucking in disgusting ways, and some of us are drinking too much. we are the people of the streets under pressure.
pressure pushing down on me, its pushing down on you

learning the curves

when the green is cleared away and your ball is set up on the tee, please take the shot.
just take it, you might as well.
even tho Bill Murray is watching you from the bushes
if you just take the shot and send it into the woods then fuck it. at least you gave the voyeurs watching some damn entertainment.
you got the club, take the shot, fuck what everyone else thinks.
just you, some grass, and balls. hit it!
but do, however, take into account the wind factor.
cause Toronto blows mighty hard,
it comes from the east in the early afternoon and the west in the night... be warned

parks of theme.. jurassic in style.. maybe? or a can of worms i didn't even know i opened

lately, i've stopped reading as much
but i've watched more.. if that computes.
but yeah
i
today
today was a very long day. three hours sleep, bike rode till i tore a ligament
and work
and jurassic park
as i hard as i try it always comes back to jurassic park
i think if you dig theme parks jurassic park really resonates with you. and i do, like theme parks.
no i love em'
people have said thats lame. or judge me based on it. like how lame it is to go to some all inclusive resort that shields you from the country you actually visit but just gives you a beauty of a view.
no, for a fee people can shield you from the poverty and shit that makes living a life in most places on this planet unbearable. but fuck people go. of course.
don't judge the payers for these things. don't say they are shallow, although most certainly can be, or they're bad people.
i would totally go all unclusive in a country rife with political and social unrest. its what you got to do.
listen kiddies were not saving the world be living in a first country with all the benifits of fine dine living. if you can afford to just "enjoy a view" then please be all means take it.
its our only chance. really its our only chnace to just connect to this damned planet of ours. and in that snapshot of beauty. no matter how over played a beach in jamica is over the mountains of asia it's still fucking beauty.
you must and need to find it where you can.
its all we got left. just such beauty.
the world is shit. dont ever forget.
but a all inclusive resort or a theme park doesnt make me forget that, it just reminds me of what dreams could come on our planet.
an all inclusive resort can give us such snapshots to know how beautiful our planet is.
a theme park can show the fantastic imagination of human kind.

in short, just because you aren't backpacking through the worst of south america but are instead sitting on a beach in west africa where all your food and drink is already paid for, don't feel so fucking guilty.
this is our world. this is what was made before any of us presently living had a say. and yes it should change and yes we all should have a chance to experince such pleasures.
but just because you think your summer vacay away was "inspirational" doesn't make my trip to universal studios "disgusting"
i, like you, found beauty.
now please got out my face, if i had richer parents you'd be more quiet

Why is it so hard to Take?

Life, in reference to the title. why? the other day i was sitting, drunk in muy backyard, smoking and getting away from my memories and false hopes and i saw a bumblebee, one of my favourite creature, laying, broken on the ground, its waing no longer able to fly. i loked at it for a long time looked at its inability to fly anymore and it made me so sad. like a boy bouncing a ball waiting for someone to join in or a girl looking for a prom date or me. i stepped on the poor bastard to put him her out o fits misery, not wantimng trhe ants to eat it alaive. it was one of the saddest moments i have experienced in a long time. why is that? why does the death of somethning so small mean so much? ahhh such a quewstion! because these things mean to us and to me christ almiighty i need to leave online networking behind and die an e death, dont want it anymoir,. don'tr wabnt to be coonected or anything. it will only cause heartache and tired masterbation that only causes well, i said that already didnt i? smashing myselfd in bars around town doesnt help and after too much to drink i',m still too fucking lucid. where is the angel of forgetfulness, so i can stop bothering all yuo peoiple with my frustratiomn and need. it isn't at the bottom of a pint nor is it in time nor knowing nor anything. i tear my hair out. i tear my heart out. i want to. smashimng and smashing agian and agian where is my giant rabbit and soundtrack. staring atr fucking keys on a jkey board i write aat length in a diary and hate mys4elf and drink and sm,okje. christ almighty i'm such a loser and and .........and. last action hereo. i spent the last two days watching his movies and thinkng why. it isnt fun and i dont do it on puurposae aND am i nice guy i think hope want to be. now i get stoned. feelin good, feelin oh, so fine, until tomorrow but that just some other time.

dodge balls

i've been dropping balls all over the place lately.
Mostly because i don't want to play anymore.
No, it's more like i was picked to be on the "skins" team, and i really dont want to take off my shirt. fucking gym teachers

holy MOLY

I'm drunnk and its 1 53. in toronto, god is dead and theres no one to love.

The Depths of Depravity

i have watched some docs about bdsm and how far that can go, and the dark underbelly of jap prostituition. they are unhappy. like me. way to go human race, you sick group you.
on my own level i pray for more monday nights, please come back. i'm so goddamned good, and willing.

lemonare

i cough aloud.
bittersweet... i like that idea.
something that is bittersweet.
sweet yet bitter. hmm what else can one do to an idea such as this?

it's a hotcold... that doesn't work.
a spicymild.. no.
a fastslow... no.
a rightwrong... not quite.
a GreekColombian.... i'll let that pass.

anyways, bittersweet. i'll take it.

i don't really know what to say but school is for dummies.

and dummies are for lemonade.

pick your side

what times? now times? never times? what.. try it out

ok ok,
top 5 best times!

5: that time we went to the park and then hahaha and then that guy ian like lighted all that shit on fire. and then the cops came and i gave them some crazy wrong name and the girl i was with followed suit and we walked away to some bushes and watched the fire that the police desperatly wanted to put it out. it wasn't a big fire. but they had to call in the fireguys to take care of it. it was kinda sad. but we waited and watched till dawn.

4: that one time when i ran into the lake naked... no wait... that sucked.

3: that time in junior year when we skipped class to make a movie instead but then we soon realised that the best place to film everything was in fact at school. so we went back and made a movie. it was a funny movie.

2: when it was raining and then you know like all that stuff happened. cause it rained so we just like did all this weird stuff indoors. what the fuck!

1: right now, this is a good time. this makes me happy.. fuckatit

...
should this kind of horrid shit be allowed on the internet? i dunna, who cares. it's become our own personal place to dump our shit. if there's millons of pages dedicated to beastiality then why can't one page be reserved for the want and urge of a drunkie to splurge a bit all over the face of the net? jsut one page... anyways.
we're always loooking for more members so email us up. and shit.
one rule you gotta post tho.
fooools.

ok so quick poem:
eat some bum

In Way, Shape or Form.

so i;'ve bneen around enough to knoew aht is what. and to be quite honest shit is neve like it seems. i can still smell the sb vomit stench. i can still smell my longing. i'm glad teres a new vag up in here. inst that awseome? l;ik,e, i have to pee, which is the first couple letters of penis, but what if that were changed. " i gotta take a vag" wouldnt that be awesome? it would also get people to be more comfortable hearing about vagina's in thier proper "medical" term usage. cunt is ugly but pussy is quite nice i think. "i'd really like to eat your pussy" oh? you don't say. hot, chris rock got it with the qholw "hrrm, well, i dunno, i'd like to suck your penis" MY Penis? what are you a goddadmned doctore! he made very good poinrs that i don't hink have any [lace here bvut its good to respect. its also good to note that i really am the best damn lover that yuou have a chance to meet, that goes for both y'all. but in some different ways.

dick mitten

i'mdrunk now. and i'm on a computer. so guy wants me to post. what a fascist. yeah i fixes it. he doesn't like that. i had the hiccips but i ate a piiza
so i guess being drunk is funny to you? why would that be funny? it's sad. i drank tonight because i was feeling frustrated and i was not happy with the mood i was in.
sometimes you dink with your friends and the next thing you know hteyre in their underwear and a white blazer, all miami vices magazine. talking dirty and biting yuo.
still, even though he;s disgusting we're gonna dhack up with ut friends and we'll be happy for the next year NON STOP HAPPINESS.
with chorecharts and cooking together and talking about realness.
now he wants to knowwhat throwing up in a vagina is called.
sick.
seriously
?

So Many Names

i was Jay Gatsby for an evening.
i was Young Werther for over a year.
i am Raskolinikov when i am stealing.
i am Humbert when i watch hannah montanah.
i am Narcissus when i look in a mirror and i was Demain when i boxed.
i am Chinaski when i drink and Jean val Jean when i recvoer.
i can be Benji when i golf and Casanova when i love.
i am Rorsharch when uncompromising and Gull when i kill.
i am Frodo with conviction and Sam with my friends.
i'll be Howard Roark in New York and John Galt when i leave.
i'm Nora when unloved and Hedda Gabler when i am.
I feel like Meursault most of the time, especially when i swim.

I can drink just about anything.

just about anything really, but tonight i had a stale amsterdam beer and goddamn. i mean like, amsterdam is fuckin narsty anyways but stale? hells no peoples, tasted like sour belly buttons. anything, but i won't do that, oh no meatloaf, not will i eat you. nor. noreaga.
i hate laptops but they are sweet for being in bed or on the toilet. try it.
more of you need to post on here, i want to hear the raputurous voices of your drunkdom.
sad. sadness. and not cuz theres not enogh, on the contrary, always enough, but the stomach can fail before you do. for so long. not looking forward to the summer people, well i mean in a way i am, want to see the clothes peeled off and sit on patios. maybe peel some clorthes myself. from others.
yeah
worried about seeing some peoples again, worried i'm still a lose. still? just a lose. ah dear.
dear dear dear.

happy st. paddy's

happy paddy's day
bitches.
are you feeling good?
just wanna know if you're feeling good.
no word of a lie, my white bunny and i are enjoying a moment between intoxication and sickness.
i'm holding his (billy) nose against the sneezing and he's making me feel like a good human being.
looking out for animals and such.

even though i sat through a university lecture on the proper use of pieroids and semicolons, i still don't really get; do you?

anyawys,
st.paddys day. one love for all and all a good night.
it has become its own new years of sorts. peeps asking, what was i doing last year?
preety much getting shit faced.
so live it, be it, don't pretend otherwise.
let's play, be merry, and just wake up and pretend this never happend.
night, night.

this is the one

top 5:
5: Garages
4: Benny and the Jetts
3: Strobe Lights
2: Folding paper planes
!: The inside out of it.

- to be fair i didn't take in account, Lazers, or Crayons.
so there you go.

dirty word life, it means forever.... and that's a mighty long time

gosh, HIGH and drunk... is crazed.
my fingers feel a' burning
i know why i dom't get hight. becase i go staraigh crazed.
i lose my mind, everytghing is images and outside i feel a fucking tusnami
as iff the world is filled with water.
and i thinik i need to crap, only i feet the darknesss outside my room. here there is ligt
i am in argentina during a hail storm and life
well life is ok.
is what isay
gran turino is amazing
top 5 gran turinos
5.josh holms
4,adiresn brody
3.dick nvan dyke
2. o joe johnsons
1. clint eastwoon

what is that dirty word... and where did you ever come from?

Flash

today i was flashed. i didn't know what to think because the flasher was a lesbo. and i think i love her. not because of the tits though, but i must say the i saw was a good one! onlyv one though. titties after 20 months is great always. yall can show ne.

a-Thinking

Before i die, i'd like to fall asleep sitting on the toilet one night.
With my head on my fist pondering much like The Thinker.
Only instead of pondering humanity at the gates of oblivion i'd be pondering weather to shit where i'm sitting or to shift a bit and vomit in the tub.
i'd wake up having done niether and make all of you beautiful people breakfast.

Where in God's name am I?

Theres like, no fucking lights in this living room, and i feel like i'm typing at a retreat, which is good and all but shit, how can a home have no lights in the licing room hmmm? the archduke wants to get high with me and i do too but i've sworn it off as i have planned dancing and sex. or anything of the sort, i gueses both are hand in hand and all. swaying of the hips and closeness and that little sense of knowing something thqat you think the other hasnt thought of yet and using it to your sexing advantage. i think super mario on the snes was the best, but even after reading king kadars post 7 times and playing it all through my youth im still not sure what its proper name is. i try not to smoke for fear of heart complications these days. i try not to love either, same problem. today i didnt do much except enjoy company and play warcraft 3. the expansh.
people tell me that bender has left the common vernacular and i tell them that its just a matter of perception and greed. fresh blows the wind to the homeland, my german darling, where have you gone? oh im damn clever for you detectives. this is the greatest threat to vanity and not at all i just felt like writing it. best idea ever, just needs more. and more. dont we all. my comps all fucked so i cant even listne to muy own tunes anymore these dayts, im left at the mercy, christ its bad. bad bad. and now heres a poem!
roses are red
violets are blue (violet? purple?)
tiny tim is dead
and so are you.

pooooootaaaaaaatooooooooooo

got drunk with roomates and threw potatoes and mayonnaisy french fries and nutella=shmeared bread at the windows of my neighbours. potato i chucked went inside window and boy looked at me. living on seventh floor is fun. hope I donèt get stuck in elevator with him.

Blunkdroggers 101

so this may feel once youve read it like wshit, its way to personal, but fuck it, this is a blog (christ i hate that word) for drunks, hence the name, and if you cant deal with that than you can suck on my limp drunk dick. take it some where. else.

so here i am, sitting here in some one elses house, drinking someone elses booze, petting someone elses cat who looks like hitler and im thinking tshoit, where have i gone? i ate with my hands tonight and havent taken the big old spraying shit im sure ethiopians are quite aqquanited with, esxcept in ther ecase ihts cuz of dirty ass water but hell, im itlaian and we took them down in ww2, and that was aboujt it really. razism? i hate native art. yup., i said it. it was my birthday not too long ago, 24 and shit i dont feel like jack bauer or even a wildboy. was sutherland in that? the younger? i am trapped in my inablity to make anythning but thats ok, no itws not, teafcher? prof? who am i kidding? i shouldnt poist this but i will., i think i love all of you, except for the ones i dont or dont really know but you know what?> checfk the beginning jerkoffs. dont like your jerkoff name, jerkoff face, dont like uyou. jerkoff. anyways, 24. sucks balls. lonely, sore dick, not even from over foreplay or grin ding, as has b een the case in my oh so ill illulstrious past. left in a place where i have no fucking clue how to change, all i can do is harken back and wish i had been a better man, lover. does it matter now? no ofcourwse not. does anything i do NoW matter? no, prolly not, ofcourse not, am i so stupid as to think wso and and continje you to think so? yes. i want to be on the 14th floor and be applicaple with you and youre red lipstick and hair. sorry. i wanna read this over bujt know that i shuouldnt, limp dink sucking and all that. broken heart. and all that.

but i digress.

and now

on a lighter notge



the top 5r men i would let touch my body for free.



5- johhney depp- an old staple of sexy lists, johneey is just a goddamned beautiful man. great actor, sharp cheekbones and with a good attitude towards drinking and smoking. juvinile? yes. sexy? yes.



4- paul bettany- first saw him in gangster no. 1 and thought he was jsut the coolest. those scenes where he gets all crazy in the miouth were just the best. married to a gorgoeus women aswell (jennifer connely) he was the most beautiful part of a beautiful mind.



3- clive owen - i wasnt sure about putting him here, but i think the sexiness in sin city deserves it, plus i think clive has got one of the coolest voices ive ever heard. as much as like the "mad" kid in the new ones, i think clive would have been better.

2- colin farrell- he's just sex to me, great looking irishman, good actor (tigerland? yeah, watch it assholes) better when he was a drug addict and drunkard but hell, arent we all? well i mean hes not any more and`has done his latest work not being one but hell.

1- Cillian Murphy - fuck, this man is just goddamned gorgeous. first saw him in batman begins and i was smitten, mind you i was stoned on pot laced with shampoo but those piercing blue eyes ejust killed me. and then in the wind that shakes the barley? he can shake my barley anytime. great actor, even played a woman in breakfast at jupiter, which i didnt see cuz i like my men as men but you know, if your into that...anyways, cillian, sex sex sex. i love this man. sunshine was grreat too.

so thats it. honoruble mentions will follow. notice to my love kendallia, 4 of 5 of these men are from the british isles, keep those eyes peeled baby!

SUPER MARIO BROSHOESOBAMAWOES

ok ok ok
but this is what in trying to say
ok look.
ok wait
hold on
wait,,,,, wait, fucj,i.m missin my moment
wait hold on, ok i got it,,, wait
now that im tyoing it out i realise im losing it,
fuck
ok so lifel
no wait,
see if its like this we all have dreams, we all wanna be porn stars, or owners of greasy spoons, or crack dealers, or sexers, or graphic designers, or photographers, or musicians, or eggs and bacon or ham or susage, or writers, or filmmakers, or buisiness owners and that's all well and good but i think. to be fair
my dream, my dream is to influence what means most to me and that's the Nintendo Mario Bros. series.
see, i think i get it.
i think i could write the next great mario adventure. now see here old sportsbee
the first marios bros game created a world within a Mushroom Kingdom that has been overrub by, at that time, King Koopa. And you as the italain motherfuck you are you try go on a quest through every colony of the kingdom that makes up the Mushroom to save the Princess that king motherfuck koopa has take hostage for fucking coins and shit. so not only do you go through every corner of every kingdom in search of her and that ass koopa but you also nab every coin you come across so that when yuo finally meet that fucker kooopa you'll trade in those coins for your love. only thing is you've been using those coins for green mushrooms every step of the way. cause fuck it. all you goonna do is take out koopa and take back the princess. cause you're a one team swat team that goes by the name mario.
so we have that. the first marios bros. your bro luigi is back up. and he's mad dope. i love luigi.e
so first mario bros done, you fuck up king koopa and all his minions take all the money you can and bring the princess back to give her the once over in her gian castle.

now mario bros. 2.
see this is a fucking wriote off because at the end you realise it's all a dream. great ending for such an early game in gaming fucktits.
but still you end the game to find out it's all a dream. so really, you just siotting at home as mario dreaming abiout the hayday when the princess would layt you because you saved her that one time when you were bad ass but koopa being all incracerated and shit, means peach has been doing her own thing.

then it's mario 3 time.
see here it's some true real shit.
mario has never been more on his A game then now. Once again he's called in for a purpose to fuck up all assholes taking control of the mushroom kindom in search of the princess and taking every fucking coin you can find. and keeping that shit.
only things have changed. here, to try and stop Koopa from future hostage situations it seems the princeess has divided up here kingdom into smaller kindoms. giving new lords and kings their own owner ship over those lands. so if koopa comes back he'll only terrorize the now recognizeable "mushroom kingdom:". that is now just one colony. But the thing is, in Martio 3 this here Koopa didn't get the messege so he goes on fucking over ever new "king" or "lord" he comes across. Turning them into different defensless animales. so you go on your changind them back as mario. and in retun they give you letters from that sweet piece of ass. When the day is done, you end up fucking koopa over, taking all the money, restoring peace to the colonies, and bringing that sweet piece of ass back home... your bed. so you can stop the bad dreams that was mario 2.

Then you have Super Mario World for the snes.
Here what i feel has happened is that you have banished Koopa to a new world across the stars. A dinasaur planet where he can be more at home. Here he gains power once again, gaining influence over the dumber dinos and renaming himself something more tribal and true to his nature; Bowser.
so now you got Bowser, all pissed, rallying the troops on this dinosaur planet to revolt. What they do is steal the Princess away from her world and hold her hostage again. So you Mario comes out guns a' blazing and says fuck ya'll fucking dinos, she's my bitch i've had enough. so you take out every dino moefuck in ur way until you reach the princess.
see. there's some dinos on that planet that wanna keep the peace. the race of yoshis are like the hippies of the dinosaur world. They want no part in the revolt. and thru them you stage a one man resistence that takes the world over, one continent at a time until you reveal bowser, hiding in his liar and fuck him over. you took all his coin, you take the princess back. you run the shit. you're mario, you're the last resort, and you FUCKING GET RESULTS.

ok so what happens next?
now on snes a bunch of different shit but i'll stick with the classics.
mario rpg sees just the mushroom kingdom thrown in upheal due to some otherworldly mother fucks trying to embraoh on citizens dreams and and wishes. they take al the wish stars out the sky, and take all the power away from good vs. evil so the whole kingdom has run amock. How else are you goonna see mario fighting along side a cloud, bowesr and the princes??
serious, shit goes off. And it shows that bowser is as addicted to the fight as mario is. And the princess loves to be fought over. but they all come together to fight that. it's beauty. pure form. i love it.

64.... mario 64.
this is crazy because it's not about the knigdom at large. Bowser as gone straight to the source with some vodoo magic nad has taken the prince into the paintings inside her castle, you as mario jump into theses paintings... which all represent snapshots of the greater mushroom kingdom, to fight against this magic. beautiful shit. but it's not the kingdom. its mario fighting in paintings getting to bowser, thrwoing his tail around into a big circle and thrwoing him until he says uncle.. great shit, of course. but not primp yet... i feel

so we go gamecube,
and mario has decided to take a vacay after improsining bowser, again. but in this lovely island getaway on the mushroom kingdom boswers son, who you thought was ok becase you were gokarting wiht im fucking months before, graffitis everything and takes the princess again, hostage now for bowser release. you know what?????? fuck that noize! mario is too pissed an not only will he take all bowser jr.s coins but he will also clean up all that shity mess you call art and then take oyu out. and fucking enjoy his vacay. great.

ok ok i'm mising someshit.
but basiciallly last we have mario galaxy
ok bowser has broken out. he has taken the princesss and was like fuck it. "i can't keep her here in the mushroom kingdom and i can't take her to dinosaur world, so i'ma take her to space acroos the univese, fuck that noize"
and he rocks that shit. he's hardcore. to save the princess i had to send that fucker bowser into the sun and he still came back for a second round! crazy ass. but i secured the princess... i secured the galaxty... the universe... so what next?
what can mario do now?

well i feel that the next mario game can really flesh out the mushroom kingdom.. what the the princess peach controls and what she doesn't... and how that effects Mario party, mario go kart, and mario tennis... oh and gold... and baseball... and soccer.
where the fuck does it all relate?
let's go back to the Kingdom and make shit happpen. C'mon bowser let's fuck shit up

so here's what i think for a good next mario game
1) go old school and have bower run amock in the mushroom kingdom but do it with triple the hear this time
2) have some outer being fuck shit up so that mario and bowser are forced to team up again
3) go fucking meta on us and have bowser follow mario back to new york thru the pipes where he's just a lonely fat plumber and have him run amock our world and have mario save it. the end hsould have obama giving a speach about mario and how we should all emulate him. YES WE CAN he will say, YES WE CAN be like mario and look out for our fellow brother, wether it be Luigi, or Joe Nobody, or bum on the corner. yes we can help protect and maintain a better world that isn't run amock by a horny dinosaur named Bowser... and make sure you keep all your fucking coins...

ok ok ok..
i got.. it.
that was it...
ok?

you told us bass

just me and dolami now, son.
i find that vodka is a rough tumbling drunk. My head is swooning something heavy and something awful.
and all i need is nother cigarette.
all i really want is to go baclk and change small little details, ones no one would ever really truly notice. just a tweak here or a tity there. It wou;dn't affect you much but it would mean the world oto this guy.
so it's just heavy bass, a badd that seems to haevier every month and i can't really help it.
i like it heavy. maybe i'm just helping along some brutall bassy deep conclusion and so the music comes with me
more bass.. eq's speak your true mind. first it was the treble turned up way too loud and now you want all the bass you could never really handle. but you walk these too grey streets over and over the same light post, the same poster for the same show 3 months old and then one day. surprise! new show coming up, a poster to rot for three months too long, all the whiole the bass dipped lower and lower iwth every step, until one day you just end up shitting your pants.

and ithink about women smoking cigars and today i talked about art on end and where it stands when it looks back at me and laughs from across the bar where better rif raff have their way with naive little boys and girls not willing to use thier elbows when quite clearly the rest of the world is having their fucking way.
but i appeticze.

i've found,
i fine
ifind
it's in the bass.

WORSENFUNK N DRUNK"S FIRST POST_ WHILE HE"S STONED THOUGH>>>>

some quotes at 1 am;

"you gotta come Provaocative Niggah, you nawmean? , shit gotta be spine-tinglin with mad styles and crazy, DANGEROUS...i mean, bust-yo-shit open beats - you nawmean? It's like, yo, son, yo, we're going to play some funky shit for ya'll. straight up, pay up. PAY UP! PAY UP, NIGGAH, YEEEAH" - Raekwon
all about poetic process; art creation - coming provocative and bringing the g-stance, a style in the bukowski sense, some sense of spirit and stamina. Got to bring it stronger every time gotta a re up and see anew or yoou'll just be a fool, like lue - reid that is who's metal machine music grates the ears into confetti and quotes the bible psalm 187 and the undercover cop.

Autumn leaves must fall down,
growing old
old titties turn to tear drops
as fat ass turns to flab
Sores that was open wounds eventually turn to scab
Trees bright and green turn yellow brown
Autumn caught em, see all them leaves must fall down, growin old
- Andre 3000

Once a funk upon a time;
the concept of specially designed afronauts
capable of funkatizing galaxies
was first laid on man child
but was later repossessed and placed
among the secrets of the pyramids
until a more positive attitude this
most sacred phenomenon could funk be acquired
during these terrestrial projects
it would wait among its co-inhabitants
of kings and pharaohs
like sleeping beauties
for the kiss that would release them
forever in the image of the chosen one
Dr. Funkenstein!
And funk is it's own reward...
May I frighten you?
- George Clinton

Poets of the real urban hymns fuck the verve, those bitches with the wavy hair.

_nick

why's life gotta be dumb for?
drunk on valentines with my valentine at what, his stiter's house watching smallville?
fuck pheremones, long live the theremin!

CHAUCER

This frere bosteth that he knoweth helle,

yeah fuckin right he does! chaucer be the english man, with the woods having eyes and shit, whatnot. i got the liquor blade demon tongue in me and theyre aine tnow stopp[in it, goin ride around this wtowne. FLAUBERT! french i think , but chaucy has got canterbury and its tales, some pilgrims spilling the shit on the holey land and ima go play assassins creed. in the absence of truth nothing is true. like my town kirs, in my town they got pigoen holes and the gun belch sequence of deniro in how many showboat gilms? by showboat i mean scorsese. he was a man like we was i was. prodigy.

DRUNK!
CHAUCER STYLE

I donèt know what that means but tdoo you ever read something and youère like holy SHIT THAT IS MY FUCKING LIFE but like itès not your life, thatè is tsomeonbody elses life. go write your own fucking book you shit tit. and go write youère own movie. and go make youère own youtubne video.

I am criseyde and I wish taht chaucer didnèt think iw as such a whore.